Do you think you have the right to change your DH/SO?

The only person you can change is yourself. If a person promises to "change" for you, then that person is NOT being true to themselves. Why would you want someone who isn't being 100% true to themselves...because if they can't be true to themselvs they can't be true to YOU. If you dont like/love your man the way he is, find a different one.

It takes more than one person to raise a child. In our society it used to be a man and a woman would decide if they could stand each other, get married, get pregnant, and then raise the baby together. Not so much any more. Women get pregnant and then find out what he is like. It may be possible for him or her to change so that they can be married and everything be happily ever after.

I've changed.

If you need to change somebody what are you doing with them in the first place? How can you truely love someone if you want them to be different?

I've changed too, and so has my husband, but we've changed together, and it's not because one of us found need for the other to change. People change as they mature.
I think the poster of this question is probably the smartest voice I've heard this topic :)

I don't know why some women even think that they CAN change another person.

We can not change another person.. Period.. No matter who bad we may want to.. It just can't be done.

The only way a person changes is if THEY THEMSELVES CHOOOSE to change.. That's it...

Far too many women set themselves up for heartaches and headaches they do not want nor do they need because they foolishly believe they can change some man..

Nope! If I had wanted someone different, I should have married someone different. I had no delusions that anything I didn't like before would just go away because we got married.

Yeah I get so sick of hearing how "I know if we get married I can make him change". If whatever it is he does bothers you that much believe me marriage just magnifies it, it doesnt change a thing! If you get married with the intention of changing him, you might as well just call him the Starter Husband because you are destine to end up unhappy or divorced.

OP, I see where you are coming from. If a person is a drinker, a smoker or loves to watch porn before marriage a person has no right to demand change after marriage. However, most find out after the fact or after having children together and he all of a sudden wants nothing to do with them. Of course she would want him to change, not who he is but his behavior.. If my DH became a drinker after years of not being one and it began to interfere with his work or our relationship I have every right to "WANT" him to change back to who he was before. That does not mean it will happen. Sometimes people do change for the better and sometimes for the worst. It is not black and white. There is a lot of grey area. Bottom line, people do and can change over time, their views, values, habits etc.. can all change without warning. Nothing or no one stays 100% the same.

I know that I have grown and changed in some ways and I expect DH to grow as well. What's wrong with dropping bad habots and becoming a better person.