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Ok...why?

Why would I do this PLEASE don't be hating okay!

I'm married have been for 2 years and for the most part its been a happy 2 years! Everyone has ups and downs! We have a beautiful daughter together and get along great these days! Its hard for us because he is deployed we don't see each other a lot...so thats a big thing!I know I support him its just really hard! I don't know if I am feeling overwhelmed by being alone with our baby so much or whats going on! THe other night I logged onto Facebook and got curious I looked at my ex bf's profile he was the only serious relationship I've had besides hubby's!When I went through his pics and such I got sick to my stomach I cried because I honestly don't know! He dumped me I know your prob thinking GET OVER IT....but I never had closer and I think thats why I'm not 100% happy with my husband....is there any advice that anyone could give me??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Make your own closure bc if you don't you could lose a husband. I wouldn't tempt fate on that one. If it was meant to be, you would be with him. Find a way to let it go and stop searching for him. Once they are gone it needs to stay that way or you just rip the wounds back open again.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:12 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • personally I think being dumped IS closure or would be enough for me! that says good bye in many languages!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I agree being dumped is your closure! Don't ruin what you got for a past your most likely never going to get back! Live for today not the past or the future!!!
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 1:14 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • you know, i think it's this: those that hurt us the most are the hardest to forget...atleast i know how that feels. doesnt matter how great the next guy is, the one that crushed you in ways you couldnt imagine is the one that sticks to your guts. :(
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 1:23 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • durning the frist four years as a spose if the navy I went through crap. the thing that could have saved our relationship is that I went home durning the frist deployment to see family. I was welcomed but I knew then where I belonged. or in otherwords find your inderward thought and you will find your heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like you needs a hobby. Do something you love. Maybe something you wanted to endure as a child. I have been in your boots. It is human nature to lust, sin, whatever you wanna call it. Dont let FB suck you in. I, too have a problem with it. You love your husband & would never cheat on him. Sooo....fill up your time with positive surrounding, ones that will keep you outta trouble. Do something your husband and child will be proud of!
    Amberoz

    Answer by Amberoz at 1:49 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • It's probably just the deployment blues. My husband spent 28 years in the Marine Corps and I went through my fair share of those. And let me assure you, when the kid unit was a toddler, that was the hardest deployment on record for me!
    The best advice I can give you is stop wandering into the world of what MIGHT have been and start dealing with what IS....focus your energies on your child and finding ways to keep Daddy central to that child's daily life. They will both thank you for it someday! Also, spend a few minutes today doing something just for YOU. Get a sitter or drop the baby for some hourly care or something and then go take a bubble bath, get a pedicure, get a hair cut, read a book, do something YOU enjoy. Don't lose yourself and what is important to you, just because he is deployed.
    Don't watch the news! That will only make it worse!
    Garner support from other military wives. The BTDT factor is vital to
    SimplyLaine

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 4:48 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • continued answer:
    The BTDT factor is vital to not only surviving a deployment, but THRIVING during it! Taking care of YOU and the baby is the best thing you can do for HIM.
    Sure you miss him. He misses you too! But don't use that as an excuse to do what you may regret.
    This too shall pass. And the next time you want to wander over to your ex's page, just think about the way you felt the day he dumped you. Then think about the way you felt the day you got married or the happiest memory you have with your husband. Then ask yourself which feeling you want to have for the rest of your life.
    And whatever you do, do NOT tell your husband you were looking at that guy's page---not until he comes home anyway....that is the last thing he needs to be worrying about while he's deployed.
    Good luck!!
    SimplyLaine

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 4:53 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

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