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the bully or the victim???

my dd has been getting bullied on the bus.the girl doing the bullying is claiming to be the victim.she has dont this before with other girls.she has been thrown off the bus and is a known feeling is maybe she does think she is the victim. my question is is it called something when the bully acts like the victim.her mother does the same thing is known to be a bully but always cries victim....i dont get this.i am taking a child physc(sp) class and this is one thing i dont understand???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Mar. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • She is both, considering this is what she has been taught to be. Children are a reflection of their parents.

    Answer by older at 9:11 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I think Older may be right. sounds like she is both bully and victim. I feel sorry for her, but wouldn't let her continue to bully my kid if I could help it.

    I tell me kids that a Bully is someone that is being bullied somewhere else and they take it out on who ever they can (usually a smaller kid). I also tell my kids that that bullies are so insecure about themselves that they have to hurt others to make themselves feel better. So… Older saying she could be both bully and victim makes sense to me.

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 9:20 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • h I think they are being bullies but them when confronted as you said they want to play the victim. I would get the school and principal involved with what is going on with your daughter.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:27 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Poor girl is just modeling the behaiviour that she sees at home, could you pick up and take your daughter to shcool for a few days? I would remove my kid from the situation for a bit, it seems talking to the other girl's mother won't do any good, and if the girl can't be stopped, just make arrangements for a bit, I bet the girl will foucus on someone else, and maybe she will get caught by the driver this time. So sorry, momma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:04 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I'd go to principal in a meeting with your dd present if she's 10 or older and if younger meet with principal alone and include guidance counselor - if you allow this to continue it tell the bully she's allowed to do this.

    Sure she feels the victim cuz she's gonna cover her ass and so is her mom who's also a bully, you've said. Like mother like daughter like pps said.

    If there is not an aide on the bus to over see the kids I would not put her back on. Ask the gym teacher and the school guidance counsellor (especially if the gym teacher is a man) to take looksees through the girls gym locker room.

    I was horribly bullied as a child. The gym locker room is a place and the school bus where bullies grow and gain power and intimate.

    This bully bullied someone else before your daughter for sure. If you don't advocate for your daughter you're also not advocating against bullying period.

    Being bullied is a lifealtering event.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • hmm all good answers..some i never even thought of..we dont have to deal with the locker room now but next yr she will.i can see your point though the bully is probly getting bullied someone else .good point...i have been to the school counselor.OMG what a fiasco that was....she told every teacher and every parent that she was awful. i will never go to her again....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • She's been a victim which is why she's a bully now. All bullies have been victims at one time and can't cope so they just replay the act out changing roles.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

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