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I need help in this situation neighbor tells me my kids act the way they do cause I alow them to and this is what she told me to do..Do you agree or disagree?

My kids aren't like out of control or anything they are just you know kids and kids at times to misbehave, but I have a 2 year old that is ver persistant she like doesn't listen when you tell her something like you would think she was deaf at times cause she acts like she doesn't hear you and nmy 5 year old is over hyper at times. I do, do time outs and when needed I do spank, but she says that when her kids don't listen to get their attention sometimes she will crab and pinch behind their upper arm she says not hard, but enough to get their attention and she says she will pull and twist their ear again not hard but enough to get their attention mostly it is when they are in the store that she says she uses that. She told me to try that one time. My kids act up more when we are out in public so she told me to do this. Do you agree or disagree? I honestly thought that was wrong.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Mar. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • Hi I answered earlier,, and decided to wait until I picked up my DS--now 5 and asked him,,, do you remember when we would leave the store when you were bad?? He said yes,, and I asked him should I have pinched you instead would that have made you behave,,,out of the mouth of babes here is his answer... Mommy I would have thought you didn't like me, you told me what I should do, sometimes I don't feel like doing it, but please never pinch me! I do spank on occasion as well so I asked him do you know that when Mommy spanks you it doesn't mean that I don't love your right? He said yes he knew that he was misbehaiving and that was something he "knew: was going to happen,,,so I am back to NO pinching, LOL!

    Answer by kimigogo at 5:12 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I think this is wrong too, my nephew who is now in his late 30's still feels resentment towards his mom for doing the same to him as a child.

    Answer by older at 11:15 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I don't know if it is right or wrong, but I don't like the idea of that and I wouldn't do it. What works for her kids may not work for you kids anyway, so if you don't want to do it, then don't!

    Ignore that nosey parkers comments.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I agree, dead wrong! That's abusive and do you really want to rule your children through fear of pain? Kids are kids, they have energy & 2 y/os are notorious for exploring their independence. Just be firm & consistent with your discipline and your LOs will listen. As for your neighbor, maybe the next time she does something you don't like you could pinch her arm or twist her ear; see how she likes it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • OP HERE they also told me that they asked someone for get who, but they told them that it isn't abuse that you can disipline your kids anyway you want as long as you don't leave a mark on them

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • ANON 11:16 lol thats funny maybe I should lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I don't think that is the way to go,,, when DS was little we made a game out of going to the store,, gave him his own "list"..he looked forward to going and knew that if he acted up we would immediately leave the store! I know that when you need to do errands this can be a hassle but a few times and the problem got a lot better! I wouldn't pinch my kid,,,,what will you do when she starts pinching? I know it sucks, but kids are kids and they don't sound like monsters,, jus kiddos!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:33 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I know a lot of people who do that and it seems to work. I don't see any thing wrong with it as long as you aren't doing it to hard, or to cause pain. I am lucky and have never had that situation. My kids listen perfect in public settings. However a lot of kids I see misbehave in public there parents do allow it because they don't know how to react so they do nothing. Not saying you do though I don't know you. I use to work for Walmart and I would see kids act the way you are talking about and the parents were obviously embarassed and would ignore, other customers and employees would talk shit about the parents. I just felt bad for them and really didn't want them in my line it gave me a horrible headache. The problem is you aren't judged fairly no one knows how your kids are at home, so the way they act in public is the way you get judged. I would try and get them better behaved in public. If you have to bribe them.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 11:37 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Even a quarter for good behaviour at this age should do the trick. Either way if you have to ask it sounds like you feel uncomfortable about their behaviour. So yes there may very well be a problem. GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 11:38 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I wouldn't do that but you DO need to do something. I have seen children like yours at the stor and it's ANNOYING! You should get it under control now or you are going to be wondering why you have teens who don't listen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Mar. 19, 2010