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How long should a couple date each other before...?

According to you, how long do you think a couple should date before they decide on marriage or at least moving in together? Even if you didn't personally do it yourself, you can say how long you think you and your partner should have dated.

***I know not all couples are alike and some have great marriages despite a short courtship. Let's not get pissy, it's all just opinions.

For me, my Dh and I already acknowledge we rushed our lives and should have dated for a lot longer than we did. Considering how quickly we got pregnant after meeting each other; it was definitely not the ideal. But despite the past, we are committed and are slowly trying to grow into the couple we could have been if we had slowed down and took our time.

 
aluvk4evr

Asked by aluvk4evr at 1:02 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (500 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think a year is a good standard time. I know several couples who have successful marriages after very short courtships, but I don't think anyone should expect that. I personally feel like it takes a year or so to really get to know someone on that level.

    Also, for all the stories about people who got married after their two weeks or a few months of dating, there are endless stories of people who broke up after just a few months of dating. It really is a rarity.
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 1:09 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • we dated for about a yr then i moved in and we waited one year to get married..so it was 2 yrs all together before we were married that we dated and we have been married now almost 1 yr april 11th.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:06 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • If they don't have kids then I think a year is minimum before getting married. If they have kids, then I think it should be at least 2 - while you give the kids time to adjust and figure out how you're going to "blend" your family(ies). I don't think people should live together before getting married, especially if either of them has kids.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:07 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I'd say at least a year. Hubby and I moved in together after a year because we worked all the time and wanted to come home to each other. We got married 6 months later after being engaged for 3 months.
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 1:07 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Me and my fiance have been together for 2 years. We were together for like 3-4 months before we moved in together, and that's only because he got kicked out of where he was staying..because of me. He was living with his boss, and I stayed the night, we were up all night partying, and he didn't wake up in time for work, so his boss fired him and kicked him out...so he came to stay with me, and we been living together ever since. We got pregnant (planned) after being together about 6 months. Sure...it may have been different if we dated longer before moving in together and having a baby, but we're happy...and we wouldn't change a thing. I think it all depends on the couple. We clicked instantly. It was insane. Some people I would think were CRAZY if they did what I did...but I did it lol. I dunno, I'm not sure what I think is ideal...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • A heck of a lot longer than most people do these days that is for sure. Especially the "online" romances.... You definitely need to date for more than a year before moving in together and even then you need to live with the other person for more than a year before you decide to get married. So many people rush into things or get knocked up and marry for THAT reason...it doesn't work and that is totally reflected in the ever rising divorce rates. Too much using the heart instead of the BRAIN. The honeymoon phase wears off...and then what do you have....
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 2:24 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • me and my BF have been dating for over a year. we MIGHT move in together next year, so it'd be after our 2 year anni... but i already know tht DS loves my BF and BF loves my DS. if we lived together, it'd be a really good situation for us all.. but i'm not rushing into it, so moving in might even be the year after that- our 3 year anni... but marriage will probably be in 3-5 years, if not longer. this is MY thoughts on it. me and BF have talked about it, but not so much in depth b/c we havent really planned anything. i'm sure his thoughts are different than mine.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 2:35 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • You should date for as long as it takes for both of you to know that this is the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Then there should be a proposal of marriage that comes from the man, at which time the woman can say 'yes". Then there should be a period of engagement during which you make absolutely certain that you really want to spend the rest of your lives together. Then you get married, move in together, and have sex. That's the way it should go, and when it goes that way, you will have about 100% better chance of being together until one of you dies. I know it's old-fashioned, but it works, baby, it works. For that reason, that is how it should be done. Lots less stress, heartache, disappointment and upheaval in one's life when it 's done this way. It's the way I did it, and I would not do it any other way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Well I think this is a personal thing- -- I think it really depends on the people involved and how well they know each other and if they feel the relationship is working out and want to take the next step. For my hubs and I we knew each other 14 months before he proposed, and then we were engaged for 8 months before we got married... and we will be married 19 years this June.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:10 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • It all depends on the couple involved. What works for one might not work for the other. With my ex I was pregnant within 2 months of us dating and living with him after 3 months of dating. Married after 2 years of being together. All together we were together for 4 years. Us doing things as quick as we did was not the reason for our divorce.
    They guy I'm with now, we've been together for a year and we still don't live together and haven't talked about marriage either. We're still trying to figure each other out and I have kids from a previous marriage so making them comfortable with our decisions is a factor as well. We're taking our time on this one and its working for us.
    NikLvsNick

    Answer by NikLvsNick at 3:39 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

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