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Do you stay in a relationship if you know he doesn't want children?

I've been dating a guy for about 6 months. He's never been married, and does not have children. He likes children, but does not want any of his own. I have 2 children, and they get along with him well. I really like this guy, but I'm not sure I'm done having children. It seems silly to me to stop seeing him over this, because it's only been 6 months, but it also seems silly to invest a lot of time and feelings (both mine and my children's if they start seeing more of him) and then end it if I definitely decide I do want more children. Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • It's NOT silly. You don't want the same things.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:17 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • he is by all means not desieving you,hes being clear up front so really ,what do you want? if you want him forever your having no more kids,if you dont then why worry.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 3:20 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • That's just it, it's only been 6 months, I don't know if I want him forever. I don't know where this could go. It seems early and like I'm putting the cart before the horse to break it off over this. Especially since I'm not positive I will have more children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • You need to get out of this relationship. He is being up front and telling you he never wants kids. That is not going to change. If you're looking to remarry and have more children then you need to leave this man alone. It is a waste of your time. Don't let your kids spend any more time getting attached to him.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:24 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • you will NOT change his mind. If you truly want more kids, don't waste his time or yours. He's honest and up front. One thingto think about: having more kids is easy. Finding someone who loves you and your children and makes a great partner and father figure isn't. if he's "the one", perhaps you should compromise on this point. if he's not "the one", then cut your losses and move on before your kids get any more attached.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 3:26 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • If it comes down to it, never marry someone that doesn't want the same things out of life you do...don't assume he will "change his mind" after you marry or that you can somehow get him to do what you want..he may well do it to please you & end up resenting that you made him do it. Just saying....I wouldnt let it get serious if he isn't on the same page as you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I mean you have 2 kids already so he's not taking that away from you, if you REALLY want more kids thats up to you to decide..is he worth giving up? If not then compromise. Thats a huge thing though if you guys can't agree on that its a big life decision..goodluck
    AlexxasMama

    Answer by AlexxasMama at 3:28 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • OP here-Just an FYI-I have no desire or expectations of changing his mind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • The way I see it, the purpose of dating is to determine whether you do want to spend your life with someone or not. Whether or not you want any more kids is one of the things you have to take into consideration when making that decision. If you haven't made up your mind yet, then by all means keep dating him until one or both of you does make up your mind. For instance, if you decide for sure you want more kids, and he still doesn't, then it's time to end it. Or if you decide you're happy with the kids you have and want to be with him long-term, then move it to the next level. Or if he wants something more serious but still no kids, and you haven't decided yet whether you want more, then it's time to end it. Until a decision is made, dating is serving its purpose.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 3:32 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Personally, I'd stay. He might very well change his mind. My brother always thought he didnt want kids. He'd tell his girlfriends first thing that he didn't want kids. Well he met a girl with one child and fell in love. After dating two years, he still felt like he didn't want kids. Now after dating 3 years and 1 month, they are planning to have children. Men do change their minds and he might not want kids right now, but might later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

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