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MOm won't quit talking bad about my kids dad..

Ok I'm a single mom raising 3 little kids on my own. My girls are going are 3 and 5 they dad hasn't seen them in 2 years. I don't like him and if I have my way will never see them again. I think he is a dead beat dad and not a good person. I can't stand it though when my mom talks about him and tells my kids that daddy is a loser and says bad things about him infront of my kids. I buggs me alot. I have never said a bad word about him infront of them and never will . I feel that it is there right to make there own disision on how they feel about him. Who do you feel???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I agree with you. It's not fair to your children. He's still their father. They need to be allowed to form an opinion for themselves. Besides, how are they to feel about themselves if they are told their father is a loser?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I think you are right, and your mother is wrong. Ask her not to say things like that anymore. Say, "I know what you're saying is true, but the girls do not need to hear that. They need to learn on their own."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Your mom needs to keep her mouth shut no matter what she feels. It is up to you to decide what your kids hear about their father and when. If you choose not to tell them anything and let them decide then that is what you do. Not your mom's decision no matter what she thinks or feels.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 4:22 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I agree my mom does that about my dh all the time. Yeah he irritates me and I may say things when I'm pissed but never in-front of the kids. It's like playing monkey in the middle using the kids as the monkey.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 4:29 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I heard for years that my bio dad was a jerk, liar, loser, moron, a hole, dirt bag and the list goes on. He was a jerk he abandoned us and never came back. It still hurt when we heard that because sometimes my mom would comment on how much like him we were. So we heard you are like your dad and since he was a jerk we must be too. We already felt it was our fault he left and then we felt we were like him and wanted to crawl in holes and be left alone.

    Your mom is wrong and should keep her trap shut her words will wound your children even if they are true. To me it is mental abuse and it hurt as bad as my bio dad walking out. I am glad you don't do this but your mom needs to stop. Tell her if she continues her time with the kids will be limited. Their little spirits need to be protected you don't want them feeling like they are bad like daddy.
    momtolucas2002

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 4:36 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • THAT'S NOT fair to the kids at all.. your mom is wrong. Its too much for them to take or even deal with, especially now. They can be gentlely explained to about the situation when they are older.. that's sad
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:58 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I'd tell her to stop bringing him up. It makes them think of him and if you don't want him involved in their lives then keep him out of their mind. Mom is going to make them want to meet him. Kids don't always hear the bad words, they hear that they have a dad and want to know him. So she needs to keep her thoughts on something else other than him. Why would she even talk about him anyway if she doesn't like him? Tell her to pretend he doesn't exist and focus on loving the kids and making them happy
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:17 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I would definately be having a serious talk with my mom. if it wasn't your mom, i would probably tell them that if they couldn't keep themselves from talking like that in front of my kids, they would no longer be welcome around my kids. and i might even tell my mom how seriously I felt about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

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