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TMI probably

I'm recently 5 months pregnant. My husband is getting very frustrated because our sex life is just going down the drain. This is our third pregnancy. My first, we were going all the time. Second not so much. And this round, well lets say I know he has reason to be upset. He thinks its cuz I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Its just the lack of energy, and also one other thing. My vaginal area feels bruised all the time. I didn't know if it could be std or something ( he strayed once) and I was tested for everything, Dr. said all was normal. I'm not very good at talk about this stuff in person, so I never asked him in particular what this could be. Any insight, I love my husband, and this is putting alot of stress on our marriage. I keep telling him that its not him, its just that it hurts which doesn't make it to appealing for me..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would tell him that you are in pain and your very sorry that your not able to "ride his big..." (make it sexy sounding for him) but that you would love to ... (jerk him off, give him a BJ) If you love your hubby but you are having trouble, you need to try to be a little more creative. I have genital herpes (so does my SO) and I literally cannot have sex for months because it will hurt soooo bad, but, even though I HATE it, I will give him a BJ and let him 'cum' on my face or in my mouth, he just loves it, and I make him think I love it and he is actually OK with no being able to have sex with me, so long as I make that extra effort... GL! Men just need to feel like we can't get enough of them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I agree with ANON 4:38 - You need to make the extra effort to keep the spark going!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I think this is why oral sex was invented! ok, maybe not but it could be a great substitute until you can get back to normal. He surely won't turn that down!

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:02 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I don't think doing a sex act and making your SO think you love it is right.There are other things you can do that are not penis in vagina.Make out,cuddle,and finish him off manually.Or have him masturbate.He needs to be understanding at this time. You're not doing it on purpose.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 5:03 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I think all these women have great tips
    sit down,talk to him. Let him know exactly what is going on. . .good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I agree with - admckenzie
    can you do other things on him if you don't want to do anything?
    I love to watch guys pleasure themselves- maybe he'd like to do that while you just tell him how hot he is-
    you might actually find some new stuff to do!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • You have two kids at home, and one inside you. You are tired because you have a lot going on. I had problem with pain too. It is because of the pressure being caused by the baby. There is nothing you can. My DH starts off slow and makes sure I am well lubed before he starts. It seems that when he starts off gentle, I don't hurt near as bad. As far as being tired, my DH doesn't get home until 9:30 at night. I try to take cat naps in the day. I will clean and work and take care of the kids, and then I will take a rest and take a 10 - 15 minute nap. I can't do much more than that because I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old at home. I noticed that when I take a couple of naps during the day, I can get a little more energy. Then I start thinking about him and the things I want him to do to me and what I want to do to him and it helps get me ready for when he gets home. Then it's all about us.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:55 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • That's common when you have multiple pregnancies, the pain. It's SPDD or something like that. I had it with my 3rd pregnancy. I like the tips the previous ladies gave you. Try explaining it's not him, you're in too much pain and find other ways that satisfy BOTH of you and you're both comfortable with.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 8:04 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

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