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concerned about my daughter ?

Hello , my daughter is only 20 years old and she is dating a 43 year old woman for 4 months now. I'm very concerned, this is not a healthy relationship , i don't trust that lady who is dating someone more than half her age younger , how do i make my daughter stop dating this beast and see her for who she really is, a potential pedophile! she goes with my daughter to grown up parties i mean where there is drinking and gets my daughter all drunk it happened 3 times this week! she doesn't even seem to care that she isn't old enough to drink , i fear if i talk to her she will tell my daughter that i want to break them up and then my daughter will just cut me off her life completely ! please any suggestions on how to deal with this situation??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (26)
  • Honestly no matter how much you hate it your daughter is an adult and can see who she wishes. If you tell her to stop seeing that person she may get upset with you and disconnect from you. Let her learn from her own experiences.

    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 5:15 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Mame first off your daughter is legally grown , you are not going to be able to stop from drinking and partying. This lady is fun to her it will just have to run it's course. Just be there for your daughter and let her know you are there when she needs you.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 5:17 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • she isn't a pedophile if your daughter is 20, you might not like it but she is an adult and can be with whoever she wants
    awelling

    Answer by awelling at 5:17 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • try to smile thru your tears hon. your hands are tied on this one
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 5:19 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I would be concerned too, but you got to let her make her own life and if it is a mistake she will learn from it. Maybe she is looking for someone who is sure of themselves, would you feel the same way if it was an older man she was seeing?
    older

    Answer by older at 5:20 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • My dad and mom were 19 years apart. They didn't work out after 8 years of marriage and he married a woman 28 years younger than him. They were extremely happy and had a son together. Although, my step-mom and I have more of a sisterly relationship, they were happy together and that's all that matters! (My dad passed away which is why I say this in the past tense)If she is happy, you should let her be and if it was meant to work, it will. And if not, it won't!
    MadisonsMom0408

    Answer by MadisonsMom0408 at 5:24 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • @ wenona mandy , i dont mind her in a lesbian relationship i only mind the age difference , i dont think someone who is 43 will date a 20 year old unless they is something wrong with them , so even if it was a man i would still be concerned
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • correction @ older **
    i dont mind her in a lesbian relationship i only mind the age difference , i dont think someone who is 43 will date a 20 year old unless they is something wrong with them , so even if it was a man i would still be concerned
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • OP My FIL is in his 50s and my Step MIL is in her 30s. They are VERY happy together. Heck when he was done in high school I think starting college She was born. They are so much more happy then My MIL and FIL were.
    Age really doesn't matter to some people. You don't get to make the calls. She is over 18.
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 5:30 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Umm okay? Your daughter is legally an adult. This lady she is dating is not a pedophile since your daughter is over the legal age! If she is happy then their is nothing you can do but to be happy for her, and accept the age difference. Many people do this, it's all based on our maturity levels and whom we "clique" with! Oh BTW, most 13-14 year olds are drinking. Not that big of a deal. It's life!
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 5:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

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