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Am I being selfish? :'(

My DH is in England for a few weeks for work (he is in the Military). He and his "buddies" have been going out practically every night to the pubs and to eat and he is even spending the whole weekend in London (sounds like so much work huh?) But here is my problem-he won't take me out anywhere!! If I ask him to go to the bar, he is "too tired". If I want to go to dinner and a movie, we "don't have the money". I know I stay at home and he makes the money, but being able to spend some time away from home, without our DD would be nice every once in a while. I'm not talking once a week, even once a month would be great! Am I being selfish by getting mad that he is doing this and spending the extra money? How would you handle this? Any thoughts/advice! Thanks!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Not selfish.

    Married people should absolutely have regular dates. You can keep it low cost by finding another couple to trade babysitting with, and dates can be a dollar movie theatre or a walk in the park.

    I read a great book where a wife wanted to get her husband to take her out, so she started to arrange the babysitter, and the outing, and went by herself if he didn't feel like the third time she did this, he was ready go, and they've had regular dates since.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • No your not being selfish. I dont know what to tell you. I guess next time you tell him you want to go out and the tells you no. Say fine Ill be back in a couple of hours. If he is anything like my husband he wont let me go out all by myself he would say "im coming to damn if you are going out alone with a bunch of idiots running around". Good luck

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 9:35 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • OP-He encourages me to go out with my friends, but doesn't ever want to go out together?! I just don't get it. And it makes me wonder. I am not unattractive by ANY means, but it more or less hurts my feelings b/c it makes me feel like he is almost "ashamed" to be seen with me =(

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • Are you overweight?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • maybe he has fun with them and not with you (not bashing just saying)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • thats exactly how my husband was so i left him & let his friends have him! he treats me like crap & them like Kings & Queens so i moved the family away & stopped talking to him. i hope him & his friends have a wonderful life together. lol.

    Answer by mrsary at 10:06 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • o yeah & we are both military.

    Answer by mrsary at 10:08 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • OP- No I am not overweight, I am average size for my height of 5'2". And I don't know about the "having more fun with them". I am not a not fun person by any means.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • What does her weight have to do with it anyway?

    To the OP - he is the one who sounds selfish, not you. I agree with the advice from Anon 02. You get a sitter, go out and leave him at home alone. I doubt he will enjoy that and it will get the message across fairly quickly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • dont play games. tell him he is hurting you, that his not wanting to ever go out with you makes you feel he isnt interested. if he cant say something that helps, or continues this way...well it may be time to move on. you are not selfish at all to want your man to want to be with you lol silly mama! no he is wrong and being a jerk you deserve better. :(

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:47 AM on Mar. 20, 2010