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Not exactly thrilled

I"m 8 wks pregnant with my second child (4th for my fiance) and we aren't very excited about it yet. This one was a complete blind side. Our son just turned one and the other children are 5 and 6. They are happy about having another sibling but i'm starting to wonder when that feeling is going to come for my fiance and I. Ever been there? Any advice?

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Asked by Regansmommy04 at 10:43 PM on Mar. 19, 2010 in Pregnancy

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Answers (4)
  • I've totally been there. Not feeling super happy about it is normal when it's unplanned. My last two pregnancies have been unplanned. I lost the first to ectopic and now I'm 20 weeks with ANOTHER unplanned baby lol. I will say that this pregnancy seems to be going by much faster than my first, and I'm not feeling like, super excited or anything. I am content and I look forward to having this baby. I'm happy my daughter will have a sibling, but every little milestone isn't as exciting as it was the first time. Each week I think "cool, 19 weeks"... "Cool, 20 weeks"... but it's not like "OMG I have to go read about what developments my baby has made this week!" lol.

    As time goes on and the idea grows on you, you will find you get happier and happier with it. You're normal, it's not bad and you're not a terrible person :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:47 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I didn't get happy about my 2nd until after she was born. We had been trying to get pregnant, then we decided to wait a while, but it was apparently too late. Then my first-born hit toddler-hood full-force (he was 13 months when we got pregnant), so I was chasing him all over the place and dealing with that physically, and the mental realization that I would have to do that and take care of a newborn really hit me hard, not to mention that my first-born was my whole world, and I honestly kind-of resented the baby for cutting in on that. When she was born, I wanted to leave her at the hospital and go back to what I knew as normal.

    But my toddler loved his baby sister and adjusted really well, and once we got into a routine it got better. Now I wouldn't trade her for the world, and I'm as excited about her 1st bday coming up as I was about my toddler's.

    It gets better eventually, I promise. :)

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 11:06 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • I'm not sure where the expectation that all pregnant women should be just thrilled came from, but I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you're feeling. This pregnancy was a surprise, and you probably haven't had an opportunity to get your mind wrapped around it since you're probably running around taking care of your home, your partner, and yoru children!

    It's okay to be ambivalent right now. I would say there's a problem if you feel that you are incapable of loving this child for whatever reason. If that's the case, and you feel that you cannot take care of this one, then you need some professional help. In fact, it might be helpful to get someone to simply listen and help work out why you feel the way you do.


    Answer by Busimommi at 11:57 PM on Mar. 19, 2010

  • It will come. Probably as the pregnancy progresses. I'm sure once that ultrasound happens your heart will melt. and once he or she is in your arms, you'll wonder why you were even worried.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:04 AM on Mar. 20, 2010

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