Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what does marriage change.....

So i got into a debate with my mom about getting married..me and my SO have been together for 6yrs and we have been living together for the past 3. well we are finally getting married in may and my mom was going on and on about how its now the same once your married and everything changes well me and SO both agree nothing is going to change other than my last name. we feel like everything in general will just be better. we are building a house and moving soon, but other than that we really dont see anything changing...did anything really change for any of you when you go married????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Mar. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • No it is NOT the same. My dd wants to get married after living with her man for 12 yrs. I am against it. I was married 3 times and each time the day I said I do, is the day it all changed ...for the worst. I was then a possession and told what to do, not respected as a person. I was no longer taken seriously. I wouldn't marry again for love nor money.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:55 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Well if your already dedicated to your SO and living as a married couple then I don't see much changing. Dh and I already lived together. We had already assimilated our lives as a couple. We dated for 3 yrs. 1 of those being in our own home together. So no not much changed for us. I say it depends though. I think it really depends on your current relationship and if your already living together.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 1:00 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Ok not all men are pigs and put on an act til you sign the paper. I would think after living with the man for three years you know about all there is to know about him. 3 years, and especially 12 years, is a ridiculously long time to fake it. If they just wanted someone to control, they'd either started by now, or be gone. Don't worry, My husband and I have known each other for 12 years, and we are great. The only thing that changed for us like you said, is my name. Good Luck and CONGRATS!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Those endorphines. lol
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 1:03 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Yes its very different! we dated and he was magical and we got married and then moved in...13 yeras later this man is still wonderful ,he is so much better than he was when we were teens,so im gonna disagree with 955 hes only improved since he said i do to me,my life is not perfect but i can say one thing he sure makes it way better.I like solid foundation and in my eyes marriege is a great sign of respect...they key to it is to be what you want your spouse to be,if you want a good man then be a good woman.You dont want him to drink dont search for a man at a bar thenlater complain you got stuck with a bum.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 1:05 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Things only change if someone hides things from you.
    oliviahank

    Answer by oliviahank at 1:05 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • More tax advantages ... LOL.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 1:42 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • If both of you have been yourselves then no
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Marriage changed everything for my husband and me, but then we had not lived together nor slept together until after we were married. We had dated in the sense that we had gone places together, spent time together in his parents' home and in mine, getting to know as much as we could about each other. Since we married 45 years ago, we have had to learn what selflessness is all about. While that may be the key, I'm not sure. Marriage is really about two people becoming one. It may be that just living together with benefits is not the same as actually having made those vows. I believe marriage to be a spiritual event, the making of a covenant with one another. There are spiritual laws, and just like the natural laws(such as gravity), they actually work even without our awareness. So, it may be that those kick in once the vows have been made, and the actual two-becoming-one process begins. It is painful but so worth it!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:01 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Our relationship didn't change a whole lot, but then we had been getting told we were like a married couple for a few years lol. We didn't live together either, we just dated for 5 years and got to know each other really well. The people around us seemed to change more. One of DH's friends would come over and monopolize DH and act like I was the other woman lol. He still has trouble getting used to DH being married and having kids, wants it to go back to the way things were in high school, etc. We have more trouble finding couples e have things in common with; most of them are older, childless, or not married. Our families changed a little and treat us differently now, not always in a good way ;) We had some fights at first, and there was a lot of settling in to do with two persons' worth of stuff and all, but I wouldn't say things were earth-shatteringly different.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 3:24 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.