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Am I taking what my boyfriend said to much to heart?

I am currently 4.5 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch last night watching some tv. A commercial for EHarmony came on. I suggested that we go on and see if they would match us with each other. He says that we're not compatible; we're just comfortable with each other. Then he stated you really think you will find someone looking for a person with three children and pregnant? I said that some people think pregnancy is beautiful and are attracted to pregnant people. He then shuttered and kind of grossed out about the way pregnant women look... Now am I just looking to much into it? The whole thing with we're just comfortable. Like there are no feelings involved in our relationship. That if he finds something better he will move on? And the whole thing with the pregnancy body. Now I feel self conscious. More than I already was. I don't know if I should just let it go or not. What does everyone think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Mar. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • That was really mean of him. He outta try thinking first before he talks. I call that diarrhea of the mouth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • I think you need a new beau.... is this who you want to spend forever with ? Knowing how he really feels?

    Answer by MELRN at 6:57 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • This is not the kind of thing you should suggest to him, but since you did, you have to take what he said to you seriously. He told you the truth, even though it bothered you. There are not too many men who would be interested in a pregnant woman with three children already. That is not to say that there isn't some man somewhere who would be, but most single men who are looking for a wife would not be looking for someone in your position. Another thing I would think about is the "being comfortable" statement. That is very likely how he feels about your situation, but I'm sure it isn't how you feel. Women tend to think more in terms of permanency when living with someone without benefit of marriage. Men do tend to see it more as a temporary arrangement. I think he was revealing more by his comment than he probably meant to. I would not bring this subject up again, and if I could get him to marry me, I would do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • not many guys really do want to date a pregnant chick with 3 kids!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • My x husband moved out every time I started showing. Some men find pregnancy repulsive. I agree with your bf though, if you have had four pregnancies and looking for another man on a dating site they would run for the hills thinking you just wanted another sperm donor. Men don't take women seriously when they have a brood of kids with no marriage.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • they would think you want another child support check so you don't have to work

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Honey, Honey, Honey. Why are you having children with this man if he wont marry you. I don't want to be harsh, but this man doesn' tlove you. And no, there are not many men who want a woman with three kids. But let me tell you something---THERE ARE SOME WONDERFUL LOVING MEN out there who would want nothing more than a woman to love them and three/four great kids to call him daddy. MEN who will respect and love you enough to put a ring on your finger and promise to love you forever, not just because you are comfortable, but because of who you are. I know this, because i was a single mom with three kids. You don't know how many people told me noone would want a woman with three kids. My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs now and have a four yr. old together. He is the best husband and father!!! And he truly loves me for who i am, not just because i became comfortable. you deserve and can have the same.

    Answer by hopemomof4 at 8:34 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • to the woman who said he should get him to marry her
    Why on earth would you tell someone to try to get someone to marry her, who obviously doesn't love her, but is only with her because she is comfortable. He even says he doesn't feel they are compatible.

    Answer by hopemomof4 at 8:38 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • sounds like he knows u arent going anwhere & he "believes" no one wants u but him so he can do/say what he wants. that makes me so mad because someone will want u!!

    Answer by mrsary at 9:18 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Was he serious or joking. That sounds like the kind of dumb joke I make and I'm not serious as I love my hubby to death. If he wasn't joking then I would be seriously wondering why he's in the relationship.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:39 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

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