Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you accept a difficult marriage?

My husband is a sweet guy...I guess. Sometimes I don't know if he is incapable of true love or if he just is lazy. His kids are rude his ex is a racist pig and he tends to let things rolls right off his back. He does not seem to care much if others hurt. He makes dinner, takes out the trash, and walks the dogs but he seems like a robot. He has standard answers to everything. I hurt because of the the things he has allowed into this house. His kids think money grows on trees. He use to make six figures. He now makes NOTHING. I have to support the home. However he does not want anyone to know he has no income. So his kids hit him up all the time and I say no. I have to be in charge of the funds now. His kids are 17, 23(twins). You would think they wold stop. I have been paying child support and his alimony. I am trying to be supportive but where do I draw the line with money and bills. But I can't keep up with his debt and our

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Mar. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • The best marriages will have really hard times like this.

    Loving your husband, as a person, unconditionally doesn't mean that you love everything he does unconditionally.

    I'd say it's time to have a very loving conversation about how husbands and wives need to plan for their future and budget together...it's absolutely crucial to a marriage to be on the same team against the big scary financial world...Bust out some budgeting software, and make it a goal to learn how to use it together.

    It's going to be hard, you're going to argue over where money should go, but if you both keep in mind that you're on the same team, you can do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Um...You shouldn't be paying anything for him. He's a grown man. Leave his loser ass.
    ArkTech

    Answer by ArkTech at 8:23 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • Con't.....home. Do I tell him to get a second job to pay his child support and alimony? His job is commission based and he has not had a check for 3 months. He says he has invested to much time to quit. I have had to use over $8000 of our saving to keep him current on child support and alimony. He has not even gotten child support lowered. It is still based off his six figure salary. I need to be firm with him. His family has made it almost unbearable to breathe. But I am paying for his family to survive but I can barely make our mortgage. Should I allow him to be in contempt or should I keep paying his bills?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • why are you paying child support and alimony, he should go back to court and say he doesn't have steady income. plus 17 how long till her turns 18, that is stupid to pay for his other wife and kids, if his kids are abusive then he shouldn't be around them . don't pay a dime. if my husband lost his job, i would not be giving the money that goes for my kids to his ex wife.. hell no. did he ask you to do this? why would you .. I would accept a difficult marriage, but i would not accept being used. stop giving his kids and ex money. tell him that when they come over you can feed them and that is it.. hell no do not pay his bills, he needs to go to court and tell them he no longer has a job, get unemployment to pay for the child support. if the kids lived with you , but they dont. and why should a jobless man pay alimony.. go to court, and if he wont then he is just being a leech.
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 8:37 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • He is probably depressed cause he's out of work..He used to make good money so obviously he used to contribute..That's what a marriage is about, when he had money he took care of you, bought a house etc. Well now its your turn to help the family out..Plus you guys only have one more year of child support and I would tell the older ones you guys just don't have extra money and they need to take care of themselves..Help him get motivated to find a job, support him emotionally, make him contribute to more chores around the house..

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

  • This is nuts. He should go back to court and tell them he has no income so the alimony will stop and the child support will go down to $50 a month. Make him be responsible for his finances.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Mar. 20, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN