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What are some things that have worked for you...

When it comes to almost anything my DD will whine! How do I stop this?! For those of you that have sensitive DD's that whine about everything you know how annoying this is. She will be 4 in June, and I keep telling myself this is a phase, but I'm afraid that it will only get worse.

We've tried making her leave the room, sitting in time out but nothing works. She whines when she doesn't get her way or when she's told "No!" She has never been the kind of child to get everything she wants. We try to re-direct her, but that doesn't work either! I'm ready to pull out my hair! Between this and potty training!!!!

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Asked by Kaydens_mommy06 at 12:54 AM on Mar. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • I don't have a daughter that did this, but I do have a son that did. We just ignored him until he spoke clearly and without whining. There were some days that it was really difficult because it is extremely frustrating, but it worked eventually. I think whatever method you choose you just have to stick with it and be committed to it.

    Answer by ShaunnaMichelle at 1:29 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • my kids seem to cry allday i have twins so if its not one its the other, i tune it out. we do time out butmostly i try to redirect or ssh ssh bribe them idk sorry not much firm consistency is how she'll learn.

    Answer by mirit.rose at 1:31 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • if my dd whines to get attention i tell her she needs to leave and come back and TALK to me. If its something that she wants, like at the store or somewhere, a simple "no, you can not have that now, and if your behaior doesnt change we will leave" she loves to be out and about, so that usually does the trick. if her whining doesnt stop, we leave. i dont like to hear other children crying and whining in the store, so i wont put other people through that.

    Answer by mrsjosey1018200 at 1:43 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Discipline rule number one is be consistent; don't try several things, plck one and stick with it.

    At our house, whining gets an instant timeout; a minute is added for each infraction.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:41 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I don't understand whine language. If you have something to say to me, you'll have to speak in a normal voice.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 8:42 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • My doesn't whine yet (he's little still), but I have cared for tons of kids in the past.

    For whining children I have always said "I can not hear you when you don't talk like a big girl. I can't hear whining." Then I'd continue to pretend that I can't hear them at all until the whining ends. After a little while, they'll get the point.

    I also agree with rkoloms, consistency is key.

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:43 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Whine is normal for that age. My son is three and he does occasionally. Especially when he is tired or when he has had too much activity. I do use the "I can't hear well when you talk like that. I need you to talk like a big boy to understand what you want." I also role play with my husband in front of my child. I whine and he turns to my son saying he just doesn't understand what Mom wants. Then I ask without the whine. Soon my child will start saying, "I can't understand what you need. I need you to use a better voice." Role playing worked for us so he could visually see and then hear how it works as far as getting needs met. The other part is whining to get his way. I might say no and then the whine starts. No matter how much he whines or cries I still do not give in. That is the only time I just flat out ignore it because it doesn't matter if he uses a normal tone - the answer is still no. I also put myself


    Answer by frogdawg at 9:59 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • in time out. I don't call it time out. I call it needing personal space. I tell him that I need some time and personal space right now because my ears hurt. I tell him I understand he is upset, it is his right to be sad or mad but it is my right to have my ears not hurt right now. So his choices are he can have some personal time in his room (not the same as time out) or I can have some personal time in my room. There is nothing wrong with crying or being upset. So he can cry all he wants in his room and take the time he needs to settle down. It is not a punishment for being sad. Now if he does something worthy of an actual punishment - then I do time out. Like throw a toy at the wall. Time out is what we call the watching chair. He can watch activity but not participate and must sit there for a few minutes. Then there is removal of a toy. Putting a toy in time out is the worst punishment ever for him.


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:04 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • if she is whinging send her to a corner or a chair facing the wall till she stops. then ask her to use a big girl voice. You may need to coach this for a bit. ex, she whines for a glass of milk, send her to the chair and when the temper stops, ask her to use her big girl voice and repet after you "may I have a glass of milk please?" if she starts to whine, send her back to the chair. This could take a while depending on her temperment.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I either ignore the whining or send them to their room until they want to quit doing it. They also DON'T get whatever it was they were whining over.
    My 9yo never grew out of it. She is horrible despite everything we try so she spends a lot of time in her room throwing tantrums and whining instead of just acting her age. For my other kids it was more a phase and once they realized that whining didn't work and not only wouldn't get them what they wanted but would but would also get them in trouble they quit doing it.
    Not to say they never whine but it doesn't take much to remind them that whining gets them in trouble and to knock it off. I'm doing the same thing with my almost 4yo now and she's starting to get the idea (when her older sister isn't around reinforcing the bad habit).

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

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