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Sleep in your own bed!

I have slept with my daughter since the day she was born. I could not get her to sleep at all so I would just position myself on the sofa and fall asleep. I needed the sleep and thought this would work temporarily until I figured something else out. Only three years have gone by. Here is the problem my daughter would not sleep unless she is in the middle of me and my husband, she can hold on to my tank top, have her feet on my husband, and we both need to lay facing towards her. She has serious attachment issues towards me. Yes I do realize this is my fault. I want to change this. I have a three week old and I do not want to make the same mistake.
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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Mar. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Baby steps, over the last month… We first had her sleep on the edge of the bed on my side so she could not lay in the middle of us, then after the crying stopped and it became normal we then put her in her own bed. Problem with this is I lay down with her to get her to fall asleep. Well now she wakes up 3-4 times a night to call me and I go lay down with her. Because I’m nursing our three week old who wakes up three times a night. Between the two of them I’m getting no sleep at all. On top of this I’m so depressed. I think I may have post-partum depression... that is another post another time.
    My question is how I get my daughter to lay down without me? One person said just let her cry in her bed. Only problem with that is she throws up when she cries. We don’t have a change of sheets or a washer and dryer. I’m so beside myself and so tired. PLEASE JUST HELP! SOMEONE ELSE HAS HAD TO HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS…
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • You stick her in her own bed and let her holler. Go to her once, tell her she has to sleep in her own bed in her own room and thats that. As for your new baby, make sure he or she does not sleep with you. Put a bassinet beside the bed and when it's time to nurse, do it and put the baby back to sleep in the bassinet. Your convenience today will cause this chaos in the future.
    Go to your daughter once and then tell her you are here but you will not keep coming to her room. This is the reason I put my kids in their bed from day one. Had you done that you wouldn't have this problem now. I guess you could say "you made your bed and you have to lie in it". LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • You are right. This is my fault. My 3 week old sleeps next to my bed. Im not going to make the same mistake again. I just cant wait till i get past this point.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • First this is NOT your fault, you had a DD who's need's you were meeting, there is no fault in that. Some babies/kids need more of thier parents then others, not co-sleeping or choosing to co-sleep isn't going to change that, it is her personality. Just because your DD has turned out to be a little more emotionally attatched does not mean your new baby will.

    I have 8 kids, co-slept with all, some transitioned just fine, others required a litle more work. The best thing is to do it slow, if she's three it took three years to get her there, assume it is going to take at least 3 months to have a succesful move (Most kids do it quicker.

    A pallet on the floor, so in the middle of the night she has somewhere to go. Put her in her bed at night but accept the fact that she is going to come into your room at some point, that's ok, you just don't want it to be super inviting.....conituned
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:10 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • A pallet can be something as simple as a sleeping bag and pillow, you want her to know she can come to you at anytime. As time preogress' you will notice that the amount of time she spends in your room will be less and less. Eventually she will see that her bed is much more cofortable then the floor is. There might be a little bit of crying but that's ok, just reassure her you are there and that everything is ok.

    Good luck momma, a new little one always make everything seem so much more urgent....
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:14 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • YOu put her in her own bed and if she gets out, dad needs to put her back. And hwen you put her back, don't speak, just lay her down and walk away.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • the key thing we noticed with our kids is just to keep putting them back in their bed and NOT talking to them at all after about a week and half of this they were doing just fine
    mamajmm81

    Answer by mamajmm81 at 2:19 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

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