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Please Help.... Need Advice

I have slept with my daughter since the day she was born. I could not get her to sleep at all so I would just position myself on the sofa and fall asleep. I needed the sleep and thought this would work temporarily until I figured something else out. Only three years have gone by. Here is the problem my daughter would not sleep unless she is in the middle of me and my husband, she can hold on to my tank top, have her feet on my husband, and we both need to lay facing towards her. She has serious attachment issues towards me. Yes I do realize this is my fault. I want to change this. I have a three week old and I do not want to make the same mistake.
Continued....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Mar. 21, 2010 in Kids' Health

Answers (6)
  • Baby steps, over the last month… We first had her sleep on the edge of the bed on my side so she could not lay in the middle of us, then after the crying stopped and it became normal we then put her in her own bed. Problem with this is I lay down with her to get her to fall asleep. Well now she wakes up 3-4 times a night to call me and I go lay down with her. Because I’m nursing our three week old who wakes up three times a night. Between the two of them I’m getting no sleep at all. On top of this I’m so depressed. I think I may have post-partum depression... that is another post another time.
    My question is how I get my daughter to lay down without me? One person said just let her cry in her bed. Only problem with that is she throws up when she cries. We don’t have a change of sheets or a washer and dryer. I’m so beside myself and so tired. PLEASE JUST HELP! SOMEONE ELSE HAS HAD TO HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS…
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • The only advice I can give you which is again a temporary fix is to put side by side 2 queen size mattresses with their boxes, no frame, and the 4 of you sleep together. That's what we always did and still do. Works for everyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Go to the thrift store & see if you can find several changes of sheets for your DD's bed, then let her CIO. She's manipulating you to get her way and you are enabling her, simple as that. Rinse the fouled sheets as best you can in the sink or toilet, then leave them to soak in a bucket of water with a drop of detergent in it. After a couple of days of DD fouling the sheets, take them to be washed. Do this as long as it takes to get her to understand that you are not going to be at her beck & call all night long. Honestly, it probably won't take more than a week at most if you are consistent & don't give in even once.

    If you feel you have PPD, call your OB and tell him! This is not something to mess with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Thanks for the advice. I just really want her in her own room in her own bed. My husband woks from 6 in the morning to 9 at night. 6 days a week. The only time i get to see him or talk to him is when we are in bed. My daughter does not need to hear things that we talk about. Again this is the only time we talk so we talk about everything for a couple hours so it might keep her up too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I don't really have any advice for you. I have a teenager who is / has a problem with change. It took a lot of work to get her to soothe her self. I am sure there are books on attachment parenting and how do deal with this. I personally had many mornings when I would find my daughter curled up in a ball sleeping out side of my bedroom door. It takes so much consistency and work.
    You have to do the same routine everyday until she forms new habits, try to give her your pillow or night gown to sleep with. Some how she has to get her self to sleep.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:33 AM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Baby Steps. My son is super attached to me as well and he sleeps in his bed 1/2 the night other 1/2 with me. We're transitioning slowly.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 11:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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