Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What rights does a SAHM have in a divorce?

If she hasn't held a job for some time and may be hard pressed to obtain one, would the kids then go to the father? What if the only place she could live was with a parent or the shelter? I'm only asking out curiosity and since you never know what happens down the road, I'd like to be somewhat educated on what leverage and rights I have.

Any SAHMs been in this boat before to share their experience?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Mar. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I haven't but you can never say never.

    I think that once you get married as any institution all the assets belong to everyone in it. Unless a prenup you might be entitled to half.
    The kids stay with mom I would guess.
    Interesting question.
    Energ8zr

    Answer by Energ8zr at 2:06 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Courts still think of the mother as guardian first, despite whether it's best for the kids. You can easily get alimony and child support from your husband, and that would help you and the kids survive should you be granted the most custody.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • saveyour pennys
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 2:18 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • It depends on what state you are in. I am in a non-alimony state. If you get divorced you can only get some kind of support if you prove you had been at home and that is only until they are school aged. Once your kids are in school you are required to work.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 2:29 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I don't have personal experience on this. Just so you know. However, I can tell you that it depends on the stability of the father. Both emotionally and financially. If the mother cannot hold down a proper job then the court would look at their living situations. If the mother can only find residence in a shelter, then the father will most likely get partial if not soul custody. If the mother lives with her parents then it would be split custody or the more stable parent would get the majority if not all. It depends on the state, on the details of the situation. What happened for one mother may not be the same for another.
    Talk with a local lawyer, or search your state government's website.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:50 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • OP here, I guess not too many at home moms have gone thru it, but I appreciate the information everyone provided.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I've been a SAHM for 14+ years. We had married, divorced and remarried. I was granted custody, given child support, offered alimony and he had to maintain health insurance on the kids. When he asked the judge to reconsider my child support amount, because of his previous child support to another woman, the judge told him denied, get another job!
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 5:23 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • It Florida it is different. If you are the primary caregiver you would generally get primary custody of the children and child support. Florida is now calling it "time sharing" ie split custody but they have general guidelines for split custody. I also know depending on how many kids you have the chid support should be able to get you through if you move into income restricted apartments and don't have many bills. My husband and I are trying to work on it but with child support for three children,sharing a vehicle,income restricted apartments and food stamps I would be able to do it if I had to. I don't want it to come to that though but the job situation and cost of daycare here is outrageous.
    aj_18

    Answer by aj_18 at 5:43 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • My mom was in that situation.... although she went out and got a job before she announced she wanted a divorce and before she contacted a lawyer. She lived in the house with my dad for almost a year before she had saved up enough money to move out. They lived in a community property state-- so they split the cars-- she got 1, he got 1, they sold the house and she got half the money, and she got what she wanted out of the house hold items. My sis and I were teens, and we chose to live with our mom, although we were able to see our dad whenever we wanted (they were very open and flexible on custody and visitation). She did get child support and he did have to carry us on his insurance until we were adults or graduated from college.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.