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anyone attempted secret nursing? I feel like a ninja...

LO was born breach and had mass, spent a month in NICU, and was told I couldnt BF him because he would "silently asperate" so they gave me thickener for his milk, which I used untill he asperated on that (which they told me could never happen) so I weaned him off the thickener and now he is doing more then fine ( the only dangerous issue we have ever had with his feeding was when he aspirated on the thickend stuff)

He is almost 3 months old, and is starting to seriously reject the bottle in favor for the breast. I was warned that If I stopped the thickend feeds, and "endangerd" my baby..that we would be reported to SS.

I want to nurse, he wants to nurse..we started nursing anyway. and are doing well. I just cant talk to LLL or the local lactation consultants about it because I'm not supposed to be doing it at all.

any of the caffe moms out there have to BF in secret? who did you go to for help? How did it work out?

Answer Question

Asked by kiwigoddess at 2:31 PM on Mar. 21, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Get a second opinion.
    I know you probably trust those medical proffessionals you have been going to, but I think in this case a second opinion is best. Getting different views from someone outside of the situation might give you a better insight. If he's doing well and not showing any signs of complications, then he might not need to have the thickening agent in his milk.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:34 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Wow, this is a little out there.. I know of people not wanting a mother to BF if she has AIDS and will call SS if found out but not for something like this.. If he is doing great BFing why would someone report you and who told you they would report you for BFing. You should be able to call LLL for help, its not like they know you are on a list that is not supposed to be BFing.
    On a second note, get a second opinion.. Something really doesn't sound right.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 2:41 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I agree with getting a second opinion! I'm trying to figure out who the hell would think something thicker would be better for the baby and less like to be aspirated when that's the MAIN reason that you should never give cereal in a bottle: the thicker stuff is a hazard for aspiration!

    I say keep doing what you're doing and find some new docs!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • When did they tell you this? If it was when he was first born, they might change their opinion now that he is older and getting stronger. In any case I would get second opinion.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I agree with all the other posters. GET A 2ND OPINION! I think its unbelievable that someone would threaten to call SS on you for breastfeeding your child!

    Answer by Ash9724 at 2:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Get a second opinion.

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 3:09 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I agree that you should go see another Dr and see what they say. A bottle is just an artificial breast. Research has shown that it is less stressful for baby to breastfeed than to bottle feed.

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 5:36 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • i'm afraid the situation is a bit tricky. it was the specialists in the NICU who told us this..and none of our other docs will counter advise what the specialists have said. I was told by the counsler in the NICU that she would have to report us if we stopped the thickend feeds and the only way to stop them officaly was to get another swallow study done which we have declined due to the radiation risk and his other possible problems (he's had tons of xrays at least one a day when he was on ECMO). he also has cysts on his kidneys, and we didnt feel like more radiation would do him any good just to justify a non issue for us. we live in a small northern MI town, and have been having a hell of a time finding a pediatrician who will take him because of his history. no one was willing to even discuss his feeding even after we brought up the aspiration issue. they just kept saying he wouldnt aspirate. Its all been verry stressful

    Answer by kiwigoddess at 5:38 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Go to another Dr. and have them do a swallow study. Asporating babies are nothing to mess around with.

    Answer by trachmom312 at 6:47 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Join Breastfeeding Mom's. They're just about as good as a lactation consult .. they can't touch you physically to help with a latch or assess your baby for a tongue-tie.. but if his latch isn't a problem and he's not tongue-tied then you don't really need a lactation consultant anyway and can get all the support you need in there.

    I don't understand why they'd think thickened formula would be better than breast milk, especially since the child aspirated the thickened formula!! If your child is doing fine BFing and is not aspirating the BM, I don't see why this would be an issue and I can actually see how a bottle which is not the natural shape nor flow speed would be more problematic than BFing BM would also help with some of these other health problems..

    Honestly? You may start thinking about going to a doctor further away from you (maybe a couple hours?) for differing opinions - people AWAY from these "specialists".

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

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