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For those who stayed with a cheater...

How did you manage to sleep with them again? I mean physically? How could you kiss the lips that kissed another woman? Were you thinking about it? How long did it take before you could let him hug you again? I'm not going through cheating but all the posts I read have me thinking. And yes, I have been cheated on but never by somebody I loved and no, I didn't stay with them.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Mar. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • a past experience? turning you on? what kind of crap is that? he sits there and tells you he loves you, then cheats on you. so you got not only a cheater but a liar as well. is lying to you a turn on too?

    my dh hasn't cheated on me physically, he did emotionally with porn and asking a "friend" for pictures/video, and i can't even look at him right now. but i'm staying with him to help him through his addiction cuz of the part in our vows that said "or for worse". but i'm trying to figure out most of those questions myself right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • i didn't find out until 3 years after it happened and it was a one night stand. So I guess I didn't have that "is he thinking of her" type thing going through my head. I was extremely pissed that he could have exposed me to aids or something. so I got tested for everything. We followed up with 2 years of counseling and he is on a very short leash. He is never allowed to go anywhere alone. He has learned to live with it and so have I. I am not sure if I would stay if I had to do it all again.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I thought it was a turn on. He did all that with her and he came back to me. I guess she wasn't that great of a kisser or anything else. Most men have been with other women in their past. I just see it like that, not as cheating but as a past experience. You can let it ruin your relationship (and he may go running back to her letting her win) or you can grow from the experience and have a solid marriage.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • So ANON:52. Would you like him to cheat on you again because it turns you on? I am very curious at your response.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Here is my thing personally....I could deal with him sleeping with another woman not saying I would EVER want this to happen but I could DEAL more with no strings attached sex versus the emotionally involved and sexual relationship. If a bond is formed and he falls for her etc I wouldn't so much as consider keeping him around.

    Answer by aj_18 at 5:39 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • because as we worked on the issues that tore us apart in the first place, we found a new love and respect for eachother. It took time. But he is my best friend, And while I wish I could say that I could never make the same mistake, I am human, and just can't say that.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 6:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • it took almost 2 years before it stopped popping in my head on occassion...but i can say that eventhough reconciling both our cheating was a lot of hard work, we are much closer now than ever!

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 7:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • it was soon after, i think it was called "hysterical bonding ". its like you have to reconnect with them so much and you just do.. the months that came later is when i got sick to my stomach about what he did. in the beginning it was more like denial for me i guess, i just couldn't believe it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Mar. 21, 2010