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Are you attracted to bumbs, losers, guys who will never amount to anything?

If so, what draws you to them? What makes them stand apart from...say...a man who is honest, loyal, that has a career and can take care of himself and could take care of you too.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Mar. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I was attracted to losers when I was immature. I had a lot of growing up to do. One day I figured out that I like a drama-free life and paid bills. Everyone says that s/he wants a drama-free life, but it takes a great deal of maturity to actually mean it. It's more work to be a grown up than a kid.

    Answer by ecodani at 5:46 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • sadly i was for the longest time from my first boyfriend till when i met my husband, but my husband straighten out pretty fast and was already headed to boot camp when we first met so he wasnt such a bum but he still was living with mommy.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I used to be, mainly b/c I followed physical attraction instead of getting to know the man behind the attractive face. Once I quit that, I found my boyfriend, who is very sexy to me, intelligent, hardworking, loyal, sensitive and loves me and my kids the way we deserve. He treats me the way I deserve to be treated. I agree with ecodani, in that a lot of it is just maturity, or the lack thereof. Once you start to grow up, get your priorities straight, and realize what you need in order to take care of those priorities, finding the right kind of guy tends to just sort of fall into place.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:59 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Good for you anonymous. Go back to your dream house now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • DH WAS a loser when I first met him. I really liked him. But he really changed when we were 3 months into the relationship and then 2yrs later I got pregnant and he totally changed. He found a great job that he still has, told me he wanted me to stay home because I wanted to be a stay at home mom and he let me, bought every thing for DS, bought me a car, we got married, he bought me a beautiful wedding ring with double bands when I was sick in the hospital after DS was born, moved us into an apartment and then 7 months later we bought our first house. A 2003 split level, hes the greatest DH and the best father he helps me out with cleaning and taking care of DS. I think I got really lucky in finding such a great guy! Hes my best friend and I just love being with him I wouldnt trade him for any thing. Hes also in school right now to be a I.T., Im so proud of him especially when you compare him to all of his old friends.

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 6:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Nope. I'm attracted more to the reformed bad-boys, they guys that used to be losers destined to have lives of shit, but changed themselves for the better and decided they didn't want that life. Seriously. I married a guy that teachers warned my dad not to let him into his class because he was nothing but trouble. Little did they know that in the year since he'd been kicked out of school, he'd seen a lot of crap and didn't want to be part of it after that and has turned into a VERY hard working guy striving to be successful. And before I married him, I dated a guy that had been a druggy, then joined the military because he realized he wanted to something other than coke with his life. And a guy that is now a GREAT friend that lived in a youth home because of his fighting. Now he's earning a degree in aerospace engineering.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • No

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • i think i probably found them handsome in some way (as a teen) but nothing besides that, looks arent worth poor treatment.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 7:20 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • I'm not really attracted to guys for their financial potential.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • i've always been attracted to the bad boys...some of them turn out to be losers, but my SO is a bad boy with a good heart...i think its because it takes a man with a bit of an edge to deal with me...i have to have someone who accepts all my bad habits and can hold his own against

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 7:50 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

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