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Anyone have advice for dealing with other children when parents are separating? need some advice and support

My husband and I are separating after 28 years.(My choice) Our children are 18 and 21. My daughter is in college and living with a roommate, but chooses to stay with dad when she comes home. (He is still in the family home for a few more weeks).She also expects me to come and stay there also. She doesn't understand why I won't stay there for the night. We live 5 mins apart by car. My son (18) has chosen to stay with dad for now. Dad allows him more freedom and fewer rules. I love my children and know they love me, but feel slighted by their choices. I have always been there for them and the one who made sure they had everything they needed.Any suggestions for getting over these feelings?

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teacherspet_too

Asked by teacherspet_too at 7:35 PM on Mar. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (-117 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • I understand your having a hard time with all of this, but don't you think that your kids are old enough at 18 and 21 to make thier own decisions? I mean....they should really be close to be living on thier own. I wouldn't feel slighted....after all the home you just moved out of was your choice, it wasn't thiers. You've raised your children...they'll come and visit you, and you should be willing to go out with them and meet them wherever you guys go, but don't feel like you have to go to the house you left, because that would be weird.

    Move on with your life! xoxox
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

  • Change is hard on kids no matter the age. They find comfort in being in the family home. It sounds like dd is trying to manipulate you into "coming home". Don't take it personally. They are processing it all. It will take time. This will teach them good coping skills for life. I'm sure they are disappointed too but are trying to deal with it. Don't make them feel guilty over it. It will all work out. Just be happy with your decision. Life is an adventure. It's time for the next chapter of your life's adventure. Enjoy. The kids are old enough to grasp the concept of finding happiness in life.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:49 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

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