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reconnect with my 4 year old

how do i do that? i cant really play with him at the park b/c i'm really overweight and he LOVES to run around... i get too depressed when we stay at home which makes our relationship even worse (i dont want to be around anyone when depressed, including him)...

he LOVES to play video games.. i hate them- the games, playing them, everything. thats all he really wants to do.

i feel so disconnected from DS. :-(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (23)
  • Play games with him. Make a tent in the living room. Color coloring books. Ask him silly questions. Have him help you in the kitchen. For a walk. Watch a movie.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • In my opinion a 4yr old should not be playing video games thats the craziest thing I have heard. And Im overweight and I still get up and play with my son on the play ground wether its sliding down the slide even though its a tight fit or pushing him in the swing. You cant be lazy when it comes to having a relationship with your children and finding things that they enjoy that you can do with them. Im a stay at home mom as well and we hardly ever go anywhere cause we have fun right here at home. My son has a swing set outside and so many toys inside that we play with. A couple of time a week we do learning activities and arts and crafts like painting, playing with playdoe, cutting with siccors and coloring things like that. I am 35 weeks pregnant so Im not as involved physically as much any more cause I cant roll around on the ground like I used to lol and play rough house with him but my husband feels that void right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Cont... So there are plenty of things to do just dont let your self get lazy cause there not going to be this age forever. And I understand the weight thing cause we just got back from sea world not too long ago and of course I couldnt ride the little rolor coaster with my son like he wanted me to cause Im pregnant but also cause I didnt think I could fit in there with him lol but there are so many other things that we do and fun with togeather you just have to find them. I would definatly shy away from the video games though cause thats such a waist of time right now and focuss more on life itself. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • i tried walking with him-- but apparently, i have some anger issues cuz i get pissed at him for walking so slow! i yelled at him once to hurry up and i realized what i was doing- but it didnt stop me from having those thoughts. :-(

    DS has loved video games since he was about 2. so its not like its different or anything. at that park- i do all those things, but then i get so physically tired- i cant climb up the structures, my legs give out cuz they are so weak so i end up playing with him for like 5 minutes and the rest of the time, its like i'm trying to gain my muscles back. i feel like jello and that my heart/lungs will give up soon.

    i'm hoping to start up a mock-schooling thing and go from there-- science will be about the stuff outside, math stuff in the kitchen, history when we visit certain places, etc... but i dont want him to think that mommy is just about learnign stuff- i want to be able to run around too

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • 1) Limit the video games--too much isn't good for him. 2) Get help for your depression--it's affecting him as well as you. Then go to the park! You don't have to run around, stay in one spot and play catch. Or just watch and cheer him on while he plays. 3) Try cooking together. Look for some healthy, fun recipes. It might help you to get healthier and it would be a good way to start him down the right path. (plus, it can be really FUN to cook together).

    Good luck!

    Answer by RobynS at 8:30 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • i agree with the previous poster about the list of three items-look online for healthy snacks that you can make together or little craft projects to do together-there are lots of things that you can do with your child you just have to search it out-some stores (Lowes, Home Depot, Chik fil a) have Saturday family projects most of them are free you have to look online-Good Luck

    Answer by crazy_mum at 10:14 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • You also sound really depressed and angry (not at your son, but in general). Maybe seeing a therapist would help you? And the therapist could also give you ideas on how to reconnect with your son. I'm overweight as well, but I still get out and play at the park with my kids, it's one the most fun ways to get exercise. My DH sounded like you until he started meds for his depression, he never wanted to play (he's overweight too), felt disconnected, but now he's doing better. Good luck and I hope it gets better for you (((HUGS)))

    Answer by shannipoo714 at 10:17 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Have you mentioned how you feel to your doctor? You sound like you may suffer from depression love, and nobody should live their life like that. You deserve to be happy and I bet if you got your head sorted out it'd help with your weight. Your little guy also deserves a Mommy who is happy and who makes tons of special memories for him to cherish.

    Just a suggestion. I hope you find joy in life soon :) *hugs*

    Answer by MizusT at 10:21 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I don't mean this to sound mean; but you need to get in shape for yourself and your child's future. You shouldn't be exhausted just following him around on the play're legs shouldn't be to weak to hold your own weight.

    It sounds like you are morbidly obese from your description which (hence the name) is deadly. Please get help for yourself so you can be around for your family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • the weight is basically a medical issue that we (me and the doc) is trying to fix... i have to find a therapist, but honestly, i have no idea how to: i need anger management, relationship help, anxiety help, depression help. i'm just a complete mess and i dont think one certain therapist will specialize in ALL (plus more) problems.

    i'll definitely look into what you guys are saying- not just about the depression, but also the ideas on what to do with DS. thank you guys

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

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