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How do you handle discipline issues at school?

Calling this a "discipline issue" is probably an exaggeration. My daughter is 34 months old, in a mother's-day-out program twice a week. They have always complimented her behavior and said how well she listened. But the past 3 or 4 times, they've told me she wouldn't stay on her mat during rest time and that she got fussy when they told her she needed to.

For things like that, do you think it's best for them to work with her using their system, or should I be talking to her about it at home, using my own system for modifying her behavior?

The back story is that they have a "nap time" but it's only an hour long and more than half the kids don't nap; my daughter only has a handful of times since she started in Sept. At home lately, she's resisting nap or quiet time, too.

Should I take away privileges and things like that based on school behavior?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • She doesn't want to nap anymore. I think this is minor and let the school handle it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • If she does not want to nap are they giving her a book or something to play quietly with? I know my child is one that will not stay on a pad but they usually let her have a book and she does better that way.

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 11:09 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Yes, I think they do let her have a book... At home she's not wanting to nap anymore and we give her a book or some toys and ask her to have some quiet time in her room... she used to be fine with it and would fall asleep almost every time, now she's angry that we want her to be in there at all... We didn't have terrible twos, really, but now we're getting this new level of "i want to do things my way." But the school hasn't changed anything, she's just changed the way she reacts to their rules. Like I said, she has almost never fallen asleep there, so it's not a new concept for her :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I owuld find something that you can take away, even a snack(gum works wonders for my DD). I think it depends on what they are doing about her not being quiet.

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 11:22 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • At this age it will do you no good to talk about it at home with her. She probably won't remember what she did wrong. They have to take care of it at the moment and really she just may not want to nap anymore. They have other quiet time things they can do with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • No, don't try to have a talk or take things away. Just offer up something for her to do quietly during nap time. Read a boy, play with a quiet toy or something.

    Answer by BaisMom at 4:58 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't try anything at home at all. I have a 3 year old boy who is in the same kind of program and half the time he doesn't remember what he does at school (or care enough to remember).
    I'd just ask the teachers to either give her a quiet toy, or send him to another classroom where the kids are awake during this time or another play room if she's disrupting other kids. Maybe if during nap time a teacher could sit beside her, maybe pat her back or something else calming so she'll remain quiet and still (and perhaps fall asleep)?

    Answer by ohsowonderful at 8:49 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • You can encourage your child to stay on her mat during rest time, but it is a daycare issue not a parent issue. When I worked at a daycare, we certainly encouraged children to rest on a mat, but we could not MAKE them stay. To make a child stay would be to physically restrain the child. That is illegal. So.....other calm and quiet activities could be provided on or near her mat. Giving her a book to read, being held by a worker who could gently rock her (maybe to sleep), or playing with a stuffed animal on her mat. But really it is not a big issue and I personally would not give too much thought to a toddler who doesn't (gasp) want to remain in a confined space for a prolonged period of time.  If they know your child they might also want to try vigorous morning activity to help get her good and tired.  Running races outside with other kids.  Playing chase with her.  Then a calm activity before nap.  Unfortunately


    Answer by frogdawg at 9:00 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • many providers have kids eat then take nap. Eating then cleaning up (all the activity surrounding the hussle of cleaning lunch of over a dozen toddlers is hectic and not conducive towards moving to sleepy time) is very energetic. Perhaps suggesting she go from lunch to the main office for some down time. When the hussle is over then she can rejoin a calmer room. I don't have a problem with daycares. I do have a problem when we don't, as care providers, think outside the box and know it isn't a deficit or defect on the part of the child or the parent when a child doesn't go along with the schedule or program. Just adjust the darn program to meet her need. They can give an excuse then everyone else will want that - well, obviously they don't have an issue with every child. Most children do follow the program - so tending to a few extra children who need a little more at that time period is not so hard.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:04 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Maybe you can suggest using a nap time kit. When I taught PK alot of my 4yr olds wouldnt nap but I didnt allow them to get up and wander around either so I mad nap time kits for the ones who did want to nap. Naptime kits can have books, paper and crayons, puzzles or any other quiet activity that the kids can work on. The thing was they had to stay on their mat.
    I wouldnt discipline her in any type of way. Kids grow out of nap time.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 10:07 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

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