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What do you say to a 19 year old that thinks she knows everything about having and raising children and won't shut up?!?

This girl is 19 and is pregnant with her 2nd child. Good for her. Happy for her,glad for her and all that. She has the same boyfriend, they are getting married, doing okay in life. I think that is wonderful. The only problem with her is that she is convinced her opinion on having children and raising them is better than everyone elses and she is forever making negative comments about everyone else that has a kid. For example, she was babysitting a 6 week old and because the baby cried, she told everyone it was being neglected at home. She babysat my child and he couldnt find one of his socks, another kid had it on and I asked the kid to give him his sock back so we could leave, she got an attitude about it, saying it's only a sock. No duh, but what is my kid supposed to do, go home with no sock on his foot when I see it right there?She sneers at me because I wouldnt let my 1 y/o have chips,I gave her mini cheese (cont)


Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Mar. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Don't we have to do the same to first-time pregnant women? Just ignore the snide comments and let 'em learn.

    I know a couple of ladies who complain endlessly about the lack of sleep, the uncomfortable days and nights, blah blah blah, not to mention since they read parenting magazines and websites, they think they have the whole system figured out.

    I just wait it out, let them make their little comments, and then eventually they see how silly they were.

    Hope she comes around sooner rather than later. It really is a pain in the butt!

    Answer by mickstinator at 1:26 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • (cont..) fish crackers instead. She makes it out like her sister never changes her kids diapers and she is the only one to change her diapers all the time, (which is not true). I like the girl, don't get me wrong. It's just sometimes she gives me a real headache being around her when she won't stop talking bad about everyone else. And all I want to say to her is you know, theres a lot more to learn young lady,maybe you should be quiet for a minute and do a little less finger pointing and a little more listening.I don't know. Maybe I'm just aggravated at the moment and venting a little. It was just a little frustrating and tiresome yesturday at a family get together to sit there for 4 hours hearing her rant and rave about how awful everyone else is at parenting and her ways are better. I think she really needs to grow up a little. How do you say that to someone gently? lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • life will do it for you. Just sit beck, ignore it, and watch her learn... we all have to learn, don't we?

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:11 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • You don't. People like that will twist anything you say into an insult. I would try to distance yourself from her if at all possible. If you can not distance yourself, which it sounds like if she was at a family gathering, then I would say to her the next time she second guesses you..." That is great advice" and then do whatever you were going to do anyway. Maybe she will get the point.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:12 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Yes, sleepingbeautee, you are right. Thats pretty much what I do now. It just gets tiresome. I suppose I just needed to get it out of my system for a moment and vent on it,lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • There is no changing people. You can only change yourself, or the situation. You can either learn to blow it off and not let it bother you, or just don't be around her.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:01 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Don't sweat her, if she is toxic for you, find a new friend. Life will teach her she knows far from everything. You can tell her from me personally, that I have 5 children...6 including the step D in age from 24 on down to 3...I am 42 and I bet money I have forgotton more than she knows about parenting.

    Answer by salexander at 2:20 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • there are people out there who really believe they know everything. when her children get older she too will learn that no one is perfect. I would pay no attention to her remarks she thinks she is being helpful. However I would not have her babysit for me who know what crap she will start saying about your child.

    Answer by mommiedear at 2:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I would think we knew the same girl except the one I know is already married, other then that though they must have been cast in the same mold. I tried to tolerate this girls endless snide comments about the way others parented I told her time and time again that each person has the right to parent as they see fit and it's not her place to try to correct them, I left out that it was more then a little insulting that she was trying to give advice to women twice her age most of whom already had older well adjusted children. But she continued to berate people, the last straw for me (and I know this is going to sound silly) was when she took my sons pacifier away and wouldn't give it back to him. He was just barely over one his dad had just left on deplyoment and I had just taken his bottle away so I didn't want to take his last little joy away but since she knew better........ Just be careful around this girl.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Mar. 22, 2010