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Husband or not, what does it matter to her?

Ok so i am highly annoyed... Lets see if i can explain... I had a gal the other day tell me that i have no right to call my guy, my husband because I haven't actually married him yet. I call him my husband because we have been together for 4 1/2 years, he is the father to my daughter, we file our taxes together (which legally makes us common law), and oh yeah my actual wedding is the 1st of may of this year. Is it so bad to call him my husband? This woman says that I shouldn't call him my husband because he isn't yet. Does anyone else think that this woman is wrong or is it just me?


Asked by justduckie_mom at 3:07 PM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,047 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • You're far from wrong.. You're married... So you didn't do the ceremony... Goodness... My hubby and I just went to Vegas after 5 years to get married, had a kid together already... We were married common law like you. Just without the cert.

    She sounds like an anal person, she has no place to say what yo should call him...

    The thing is it's easier.. haven't gotten around to marriage yet, and been together forever, have kids.... They're not JUST a boyfriend. It's more than that.

    Try to forget her...

    Answer by Skepticchick at 3:14 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Pssshhh... Ignore her. Call him whatever you want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • sometimes you just have to let crap like that roll off your shoulders and smile and say, well soon enough i will have papers on him.

    Answer by angevil53 at 3:09 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Ignore her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • she's jealous, don't mind her

    Answer by khmymommi at 3:11 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I think that woman has some out dated ideas of what "husband" means.

    I've been with my partner for 5 years and we have a lovely baby girl together. We are quite content not getting married and, in all honesty, do see a lot of reason to get married. My mother always tells me that we should get married because "it's a commitment." I'm pretty sure the decision to have a child together was a commitment as well. So what do we need to spend thousands of dollars on a one day event for? For all intensive purposes, he is my husband.

    Congrats on your up coming wedding date!

    Answer by GodessofAwesome at 3:14 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Congrats first of all and then secondly, I would have told her to piss off. :) Nicely of course. :)

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 3:14 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I called my dh my dh after our first child was born. We were in the married life and engaged just w/o papers. We are now married though, it only took 3 yrs. She is jealous.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:15 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • i guess it's fine in your situation.. being that you already have a family together and have a set wedding date. but i can see her point also. i also get annoyed when i hear some women calling men they've been in a relationship with for just a few months their husband and see them break up just weeks later. she's probably categorizing you among those women who use that word so loosely when it actually means so much more than what they can even imagine at that point. but she shouldn't have said anything.. she's still rude. she can have any opinion she wants, but she can also keep it to herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • My sister and brother in-law are technically married, but they refer to each other has "husband" and "wife". And, so do I. Like you, they've been together for 4 1/2 years and have a child together, except they aren't formally engaged, and don't know if they ever will be legally married. If they were to split up their life together, you'd better believe with that much history, it would be as ugly as a divorce.

    Answer by Rayray1976 at 3:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2010