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UPDATE TO:Does a birthmom need to feel obligated to potential Ap's if she said she would be interested in them via e-mail does this make it legally binding ?

First thank you ladies for last nights & todays responses.I told my friend all that was shared.Also she informed me they have had more than one failed adoption & last nite the AP wrote saying another,BM contacted her yet has been doing all this preperation assuming she will get this baby so makes me wonder what is up with this couple & further more they been at this for 10 years.My friend has not ever signed anything because she has told them she is sorting through many feelings,what will be best.I feel this AP is feeding into every BM emotions & end result goes against them because all is not based on the truth.That is why she will not accept anything since she feels until papers are signed she got pregnant her responsibility until than.She has shared U/S pics & belly shots but i told her no way that is saying they get baby even though they started a baby book with the info sent i was like ok sweet but odd to on their part.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (17)
  • Sound weird...what they did. Starting a baby book already? I would get away from those folks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • CONT BY OP: I told her i would stop contact with them but this is up to her if she wants to get to know them more by meeting and so on.However do not do it by yourself bring me or someone else.
    However,i never heard a couple get so involved even if they are desperate as this couple it almost sounds like they do scrapbooking marking every journey to use it against the next BM.In hopes it works since they have told her all they been through and than they told her last night they even told this new possible BM about all there hardships yet they found a wonderful BM ? ( meaning her) I told her i suggest you contact an attorney or agency for future options since this is getting a bit scary to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I would cut all contact with this couple there is something freaky about this couple.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Say a prayer they never adopt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • that sounds kinda creepy to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I feel if she wants to keep this couple than do not sign anything until they meet or take anything from them.Also wait to sign anything until after she gives birth is my suggestion since she needs that time to know how she feels once she holds that baby.I feel they are using past fears against all new birthmoms to be hoping this person will be the one to fill there dreams.Granted a potential birthmom and c ouple can get close does not obligate her to give a baby to them by her feeling she will hurt them and they will come after her.The scrapbooking before they meet and all that to know if they really are all clicking outside of e-mails and texts is creepy to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • OP HERE: I guess this to me is just to drama filled they claim they have been foster parents so why not continue to do that and also they had the opportunity to adopt twins a boy and girl that were just reaching toddler stage just last week by the social worker they know but they would prefer to adopt a newborn so passed however,they told her at the beginning they would be honored to raise any child.I said what happens if this child is not perfect little infant they prayed for.
    Also,the one surrogate being sought by police for scamming them took help for food,clothes and changed her mind which Ap's are trying to scare potential birthmoms with.That is why she worries they will hold against her all that been wrote.I told her in this case that is not anything to worry about you have took nothing with intentions it was for a baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • OP HERE: Than they have a birthmom being sought by police for similar help of financial reasons.To me should these police not be wondering why they have all these claims against these woman and baby stuff time after time and no baby and are willing to hand out money so easy and in turn say we want to help you even if you keep the baby because we love kids...I feel they are giving mixed signals and when it turns out not the way they wanted the try to get back the money and say it is being done out of them being wrong not rvenge because they are christians.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • This couple sounds to be the scammers hope to get a baby under wrong terms and yet hope it will cost them nothing.
    Adoption and surrogacy has it's risks and after 10 years they should know this.
    Maybe them not having a baby out of all these failures should tell them to look deep in what is wrong with them.
    Eventually the police are gonna stop them when they keep filing claims.
    Until than,hope your friend takes care and does what she feels is best.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • She has nothing to worry about, but needs to break contact with these people. If she is having this much h*** with them W/O meeting them, what does she hope to gain? One thing that I have noticed while you (her FRIEND) have been posting for her (and God Bless You for wanting to protect her) is that she doesn't seem to have any family support. Not that you are "chopped liver" by any means, but if she is needing to show U/S's etc to STRANGERS in order to have someone excited about her pregnancy, then I question whether she should be doing this. The fact that she's trying to use a website, w/o benefit of an atty, also tells me that she hasn't rec'd any adoption counseling. It sounds like she is trying to get thru the next few months, but hasn't yet prepared to the life-time of grief & pain that could follow. Adoption is hard enough when you KNOW what you're getting into. Harder still when you are BLIND-SIDED by the consequences.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:34 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

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