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can he find me if i got remarried out of state.

Hi I have a very scary ex and we had a little boy. Theirs no court order or anything were not even sure if he's the dad. I got married to a man in the army a few states away and I hear his dad is trying to go to courty and file for full custody. But I don't want him to find us. He's a drug dealer, and he does horrible things to people for money. I have no proof of this. But I'm so scared he's going to find me. I'm a good mom. I have everything he needs. Money, a home, insurance for him. His dad has seizures, a drug problem, no job and still lives at home with his mommy. how likely os it hell find me? I'm changing my last name here shortly and my job is a stay at home mommy, military wife, and I watch peoples children for extra cash. Has anyone gone threw this? He's trying to find me. He's gone to the courts to try ad serve me and everything but I was already out of state...

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Get a lawyer and ask what you should do. You already have a heads up on what he is doing,take some legal action. Yes, they can find you, it doesn't matter if your last name is different or not.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 5:25 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • It sounds like you have contact with people where he still lives. I hope you are being VERY careful about who you let know where you are. If people talk, he could accidentally find out where you are. I agree you should contact a lawyer and find out how you can protect yourself and your son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • They can find you, and one day you'll have to face up to it. If you try not to, and don't respond to claims within time frames he could just be awarded sole custody on that. If he's the one that originally filed.

    Get a lawyer, and face up to it. Get a paternity test done.

    He sounds bad, but know that the courts will look to see if he is fit to get full custody, and if he's jobless, it's out of the question. The child needs stability. A lawyer could tell you a million more than I could... See if you can't get a free consoltation.

    Oh and there are free lawyers if you qualify they take a few weeks to process your app... so look into it.. the court clerks should have more info on that.

    Good luck

    Answer by Skepticchick at 5:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • That depends on how smart he is. If he has good resources, exc. A man like that is more likely to just get rid of you than risk a custody battle. I would get an order of protection and a lawyer now. Depending on how dangerous he is a body guard. Good luck. Sorry I can't help more with such little info.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 5:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • if he has your ssn or the childs then he can find you

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:00 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • There is a group that I had to talk to called OARS, (spelling). Anyway it's with the social service ppl. They were trying to go after my ex for child support when i got on healthwave for my second pregnancy. I told them I didn't want him found, and i would go with no insurance before I dealt with him. He sounds alot like your ex. Drugs, anger issues, ended up having a gun held to my face because of his habit. They granted me good cause for keeping him away. I didn't have any proof either, but it should help. You need to talk to someone or he's going to just come barging in. You need someone to tell you what you need to do to protect your child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • One of the good things about being a military wife is you can go to base legal. While they can't help you with this directly they can help you find a lawyer that you can afford, and they should be able to help you as far as explaining what your ex may or may not be able to do.

    Good luck!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:58 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

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