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going away to college

I just realized before I know it my son will be going away to college, this is verx exciting/nerve racking to me. I am excited for himto be growing up and moving on in his life, I am also excited about hubs and I having the house to ourself, so we can do whatever we want whenever and wherever lol. Part of me is real nervous I feel like im losing our boy my baby isnt our baby anymore, i also fear him getting into trouble or failing out of college I am also gonig to miss him we are very close. I just wanted to see if any other moms share my thinking and have any thoughts or advice on the matter.

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julietta22

Asked by julietta22 at 9:11 PM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • When my youngest left for college it was very hard for me. I was pretty depressed the first 2 months. I would walk into his room and tart bawling. He called often at first. Then he met people on campus and we had to make a "3 day " rule. He had to call me at least once every 3 days if only to say "Hi Mom I'm Alive. Bye" Sometimes thats is all I needed. He was a longggg way from home. We did have a ball. We traveled. Took off when we wanted too etc. for 9 months. Then our lives were flipped upside down. We had to take custody of our grandchildren. What was supposed to be temporary is permanent now. Ohhhhhh boy, how I wish I hadn't wasted those first two months. LOL. It is hard at first..but it gets better.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:40 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I was upset when my oldest went away to college in 2004 and he was only 45 minutes away. Now, though, my younger 2 are leaving in July for the Army and in August for college and I am excited. I am sure I'll miss them (esp. the one who will be in the Army, the other will only be an hour way and plays football so we'll see him once a week when we go to watch his games) but quite honestly, after 24 years of non-stop parenting I am looking forward to time with hubby and not cleaning up after everyone non-stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • My oldest is in 11th and my youngest is in 10th. It is very exciting, scary, and everything all rolled into one. I understand what you're saying :-)

    Our oldest doesn't want to go to college, he wants to join the military, and our youngest wants to go to Rice University in TX. We respect both their choices, but we have the added stress of living overseas right now ourselves. My dh is in the military, and we're stationed in Japan, so when our kids "fly the nest" they're going to be flying to literally 1/2 way around the world...
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:38 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • But, you need to remind yourself that just because they grow up and move out doesn't mean you're out of their lives, and yes, they probably will make mistakes. Just like we did when we were their ages - and things turned out pretty well for us in the end :-)

    Besides, it's not like you're sending them out into the world unprepared - you've been teaching them for 18 yrs what they need to know :-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:45 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • I went through all those emotions only I did it three times, they turned out being better persons for going away and learning from experience what life is about. My kids are now full adults that make me proud, and a day does not go by without a phone call or a visit. The first time I left my eldest I cried for days! I thought the second would be easier, (no way) and the third I thought it would be a breeze, after all I had gone through this twice before, but it was not any easier. Once they leave the nest, they tend to realize all you have done for them, and if they have kids of their own even more, hang in there mom, it will be ok.
    The one thing that kept me sane, was the one thing I demanded from them, and that was an "I am alive call", as long as I got to hear their voice on a daily basis, I was fine.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:38 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I have another year before my oldest goes to college. She is interested in one alittle over an hour away. Which isn't too bad, but, I really don't know how I will be able to handle it. I feel like as my first baby she is really what made me a mom. And maybe I rely on her and her sister for purpose. I know that we had them so they can grow and become wonderful humans who add value to this world. But I see them leaving as just that, leaving. And I hate the thought of it. I would never do anything to hold them back, and this is what I want for them, I just wonder if I can go back to college too!!!! It was pretty fun the first time!!!!!!!!!!!
    I do fear for them and their safety, but letting go isn't as hard as holding on too tight.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 7:14 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • My oldest is about 2000 miles away at college. I was sooo sad for a few months but he calls all the time and gets to come home every now and then. I still miss him a lot but hearing about how well he is doing makes it all so much better. I wanted to guilt him into staying near home and I know he would have stayed if I flipped out. But that would not have been fair and terribly cruel to take advantage of him like that. I put my emotions aside and realized that we did a good job as his parents and didn't stand in his way. Of course I still worry but I wouldn't deny him this adventure of growing into his own person for anything. Everything will be ok Mama.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 10:57 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Every time , I have had two leave for college and miss them terribly.I don't get empty nest syndrome I get fewer in nest syndrome.It prepares you for the future.My oldest commissioned the day of college graduation and I truly believe all these steps helped us prepare for deployment.Cell phones are a blessing, mine would and do call while waiting for the shuttle or when bored till something better comes along LOL  You have worked hard to get him here where he has a future plans in place...good job.He will stub his toe along the way but we all did and he will learn from that also.Enjoy your sucess. 


    just got to say my oldest comes back next week HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 4:34 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

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