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my bf's half my age

I am a 40 year old single mom, I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months, it starting to get semi serious. Hes a great guy hes nice and smart treats me sooooo well hes everything I would look for in a guy, EXCEPT hes 21 years, old im basically twicw his age. Everything is great but I dont know what to do about the age gap does it matter? I know what your going to say its all about the sex, its not we really connect, we have great conversation and you would never believe he is 21, and if you must know yes the sex is great, but their is so much more to us that that, believe me if you want but there is. I am scared I dont know if this has a future and I dont know how my son will react when he finds out my new boyfriend is only a few years older than him!!!! What do you girls think?

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alextheitalia

Asked by alextheitalia at 11:06 PM on Mar. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • It's your life honestly and as long as your happy and this guy is truely legit than there is no reason to be ashamed. I do see how your son might feel pretty akward though....I know I would. But hopefully he will understand.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Why don't you take it slow and see where it goes? If you like each other, I dont think it matters what your ages are. Women live a lot longer than men do. If you are with a younger guy, you will have more time together. Anyway that's an advantage to it. Do what you want and forget judgement from others. Love and hapiness are so hard to find in the first place.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:12 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Age aside, most teenagers are snotty about their parents dating anyone. If you don't make the age gap an issue then it's a non-issue. Teens mirror everything. If you put off uncertainty then you'll get it right back. If you are really happy and comfortable in the relationship then your son will see that.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 11:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2010

  • Bluntly: there is no substitute for experience. It'll come out in the water or the rinse. Personally, I'd force myself to walk away and spare myself the grief. Been there, done that. However, perhaps it'll be different for you. Right? Good luck.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 12:15 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Ya, I have to be the bad guy here and say let it go. I'm your age and this will likely end badly. 20 years is a huge difference. What happens when he's 30 and wants kids? Or when you're 60 and he's 40 and has a new midlife crisis or wants to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro with a girl he met on the internet? For now, enjoy the sex, his kindness and companionship but walk away before it gets complicated.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • IMO guys that age are with older women for reasons OTHER than a serious relationship. I think before you go any further with this guy you need to make your intentions very clear to him and give him the opportunity to get out if it isn't what he's looking for. (I had a really good older friend who was with a 20-something for 3 years and after all that he left cuz he only wanted to be with her for the 'experience')
    If you are both on the same page then I think maybe you should tell your son and see how he handles it. It's going to take some adjusting and I"m sure he's gonna be uncomfortable with his mom dating, especially someone close to his age.. but if he sees that you are happy and the guy is decent to you and a good guy, then it will all work out. You can't gauge someone's reaction to anything until it actually happens, you never know he might really be supportive. Good luck!
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 12:33 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I think your concerns are valid. Get out and "date" going to things that interest him then take him to things that interest you. You will find out quickly how different you are. I dated a guy half my age for a while. The sex was amazing and he was so mature. We could talk about anything and he could hold his own on any subject. It was what it was though. I never thought it would be more. Some young guys want a sugar momma so be careful there to not allow him to move in and you take care of him...and don't be buying him things like you are his mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I'd say, go with your gut feelings. How do you feel when you're together? Do you share similar interests, is his age the only thing that seems to "stand" in your way? If you can answer all these things and still want to be with him? Then go for it.....the reason I say this is when I met my DH I was 44 and he was 22. I am also 21 yrs older then he is, you can imagine the looks I get when I tell people that my DH is 15 months older then my DS! lol Yep...THAT'S the look!! lol
    We've been married about 2-1/2 yrs and we get along great, the only time the age thing has really come up is when we're out and people think that my stepboys, who are 4 and 5 are my grandsons. Which brings up another point...how do his parents feel about it? My MIL is three years older then I am, but the age thing doesn't seem to bother her at all.
    Just do what feels best for you.
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 12:37 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • by the time u r 50 and he hits his 30's he is going 2 b checking out younger women but just living off of u, just sayin
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Get it girl!
    So what, he's half your age?? That just means you're one hot mama!
    If it's working and you truly like(love) him, go with it. You only live ONCE. You can't worry what other people think. Their opinions don't matter anyway - and anyone whose opinion DOES matter would/should be supportive of whatever makes YOU happy! If you connect, ect, go for it. Who knows what you'd be missing out on otherwise??
    Blubuni99

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 2:12 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

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