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i don't want to have kids in my 30's

My fiance and i just had a baby girl who was not planned, he's 19 and i'm in my early 20's. we love her so much and we want more kids in the future. the thing is he wants to wait til he's in his late 20's but i'll be in my 30's by then. i want to be done having kids before my 30s. how do i explain to him that i want to have more kids sooner without sounding selfish?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Mar. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Tell him it will be better for your little girl if her siblings are closer to her age, so she'll have siblings close to her age to play with.

    My mom had my older brother when she was 19 and the rest of us later. She was 32 when I was born. I really don't even know my older brother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Lay out the advantages. Medical, financial, social. Have him lay out the advantages of what HE wants. Then compare and contrast your lists and see which weights better in the balance.

    Don't worry about seeming selfish. The act of reproducing ourselvces is the ultimate in selfishness anyway....the drive that we MUST pass on OUR DNA, you know? **grin** Not an issue.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:05 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I met a guy back before I met my DH. At the time I decided to not have any more kids. ( Had 2 by 2 differnt men). Me and him wanted to get into a relationship. But he wanted more kids ( he had 1, wanted more). But I was finished having kids. We did not get togther because our lifes where going in two different directions. We where not ment to be together.
    Maybe you to are not really meant to be together.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:05 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Just explain to him that first, it would create a better relationship between this child and future children if they are closer together in age, and second, that you don't want to have kids in your 30s. Explain to him that the older you get, the higher the risks become, both for you and baby. Google pregnancy risks in your 30s and print out some info to show him. Then tell him your compromise: that you're willing to wait until X age, or whatever, and see what he says. I do agree with louise2 to a point, that if you guys can't agree, it might be a dealbreaker. Did you guys not discuss this before you got together? Or at least rather early in the relationship? This is one of those things that you really should discuss pretty early on, so that if you are unable to agree, things don't get messy with a break up with kids and such. I'm not trying to bash, please don't take it wrong. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:28 AM on Mar. 23, 2010