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How do you deal with making one of the hardest decisions in your life?

It would take me for ever to go into details but I have a family meaning mom, dad, sister, brother ect. that have either a drug problem or alchol problem and I am the only one out of all those people that made it out of that house and chose not to be like them. Im a 24 yr old wife and mom now with a second child on the way and Im starting to realize in order for me to be happy and move on with my life Im going to have to find a way to end whats left of my realationship with all my family. I dont like the person I become when they bring there drama into my life, my husband catches me yelling on the phone and cussing in front of our child and If you know me Im very uptight when it comes to what said and done in front of my child and the thing is I dont even know Im doing this untill he says somthing to me. I get caught up in the moment and the worst comes out in me when I associate with them in any way. Cont....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Mar. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • OP.... My husband and son make me happy, they do not and I find myself crying allot lately because of how they treat me and what they say and do when there on drugs. Its so hard to sit by and watch one family member drag the other one down to there level meaning turning my 20 yr old brother into a horrible drug addict. My dad and older sister have him on methadone now and so many other things like a drug called cheese. I just cant deal with this any more, this isnt normal and I cant be happy having them in my life so Im choosing now not later to move on and litterally not talk them again. I honestly already feel like there not here because mentally there not. You dont understand how it is talking to them one minute and then the next they dont even remember talking to you or what they even said, its a shame there killing themselfs and befor you go and day try and get them help NO I have tried that for many many years. Cont...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • OP.... Has worked. I just need some reasurance that Im doing the right thing for myself and my family. Im 35 weeks pregnant and my unborn child does not deserve for me to be unhappy and either does my husband and son that love me with all there hearts. I can tell you that Im the happiest women in the world when its just us and none of my familys drama. Its time to move on and leave all this behind me, I have faught this battle long enough and Im seriously worn out now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • You are 100 percent right. The only "wrong" thing is that it's taken you so long to do it.

    This is a TOXIC family. Cut 'em off without delay.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:02 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Ive been in ur shoes with my dads family n i cut them from my familys life let me tell u it feels great not wakeing up with a migrain everyday bc theres no drama to cause one im beiind u 100% do it u will feel alot better
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 5:08 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • It is ok to step away from your family. Keep a hands off approach to them. You need to tell them all how you feel and what you plan on doing. that way everything is out in the open.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:57 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • This is a TOXIC family. Cut 'em off without delay.
    --------------
    I agree with this.
    Lexylex

    Answer by Lexylex at 7:13 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Just want to let you know that I am in the exact same situation, I am 24 and I have 2 kids (2 and 3) and I have had to cut contact from my entire family bc of drugs and alcohol..it was very hard for me but i would get upset everytime i talked to them..bc i spent so much of my life trying to help all of them..really i was just enabling them..there is nothing else i can do to help them and in the end they were just using and manipulating me..I need to worry about my own problems and focus on me and mine, i can't afford to be stressed out all of the time bc of them and things that have nothing to do with me..
    Gabbyzmommy

    Answer by Gabbyzmommy at 11:00 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • OP.... Thank you guys so much for everything you posted. I cryed reading some of the things because this is reality for me and its hit me pretty hard thees past few days or should I say this past day when I realized what needed to be done in order for me to move forward. Its great Gabbyxmommy to know that Im not alone and that someone else is going through this exact same thing, its very hard to put this part of my life behing me cause in our case were talking about the entire family not just one or two people. I know what I need to do and for once Im going to put my self and family first when it comes to this situation. Thank you every one again for taking the time to respond, I feel like Im doing the right thing now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • "You dont understand how it is talking to them one minute and then the next they dont even remember talking to you or what they even said"

    oh yes I do! I've been there in so many ways that you are describing-
    Please PM me- we can swap stories if you want, if you don't, I really want to hear how you are!

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:19 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Sorry honey, but they're DEF toxic. My bio Mom's family was very toxic to me... specifically my Grandmother. I cut off all contact with her over a year ago and I have NEVER felt better. No more subconciously trying to please her, no more nice-nasty comments from her that hurt my feelings (i.e. I like those pants, but they'd look better if you were a few lbs lighter), no more being upset @ how differently she treats my brothers and their kids vs. mine... and so on. I feel SOOOOOO much better. Stand up and be strong, not only for yourself, but for YOUR family.
    Luvmylilmonkies

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 12:45 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

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