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UPDATE TO (Part TWO):Does a birthmom need to feel obligated to potential Ap's if she said she would be interested in them via e-mail does this make it legally binding ?

Well she no longer needs to worry about the perspective AP's they since talking to her about another birthmom yesterday being interested in them but told her they found someone great,meaning my friend and wondered why that other birthmom never wrote back,gee i wonder.
Anyway onto the shocker....They tomorrow are signing papers for newborn twins which were born yesterday.To me i find all this odd.However happy for my friend to be able to move forward without guilt from them.However i worry for these children.Guess not up to me to judge anymore, just hope this babies get all the deserve in life and are treated good by this couple.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Mar. 23, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (6)
  • Kind of doubtful all of a sudden there are twins born yesterday & they are signing papers today & you all already know all this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • So your friend didn't have to "break ties" with them because they broke ties with her? I'm getting a "Oh, never mind, we don't need you now" sort of feeling. Do you think that they were using your friend for a "Plan B" in case the twins' mother changed her mind since they had experienced failed adoptions before? It's sounds like "stacking the deck" in their favor to me.

    I am glad that your friend can move passed this couple & I pray that she is learning some new questions to ask. I also really would suggest that she find a counselor ASAP. Also, if she's going to continue to move forward towards a "legal process" of adoption, that she get an attorney to advise her on these matters. Good luck to you & your friend!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:22 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster, this whole email stinks of nonsense. I dont know if I believe any of it.

    OP: if you are legit, then sorry, but there is a growing trend of these Anon posters asking nonsensical questions that try to may adoption and APs look bad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Oh, ye of little faith. It's the same poster (and friend) who has been taking us thru her journey. I don't believe that they are making adoption or AP's look bad, but that we need to remember that adoption is more than an industry. It's ONE expectant mother placing ONE or two babies with ONE adoptive family. It's not to say that there shouldn't be any adoptions taking place, or to make ALL PAP's look bad, but there are some PAP's that may not be as ready as they should be, & some expectant mothers who might consider adoption, but thru the pregnancy overcome her perceived &/or real obstacles to parenting. And that's a GOOD thing most of the time. We should remember that adoption isn't ALWAYS the answer. Every unplanned pregnancy shouldn't mean adoption for the child in every case. Everyone should have a chance to ask her questions, educate herself of the potential harm or gain to her child & herself, & THEN make her decision.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:05 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • OP HERE: I wish this was something that was only seen on tv but this can happen in real life.When several people each having a side to why they embarked on this journey from the BM,AP's and even there families or agencies/attornies you will encounter various senerios and emotions.
    The Ap's did send my friend pictures on the new additions,why no idea however they were found to be very confused people as the journey unfolded with my friend on staying constant to what was wanted,which maybe why they had failed adoptions and surrogacies before.
    They did state they were willing to also adopt her baby as well however,what ended it for my friend is they changed the wishes on what she wanted in seeking out a family.So she told them sorry this would not work under the recent developments and they wrote back,said fine and wished her luck.Which she saved that message incase anything comes up.
    So to those that helped with advice,TY:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Glad all worked out for your friend during a situation which was diffacult enough.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

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