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I need to get dd to stop hitting

I am sure this is asked a lot but I just cant get her to stop she is 18 months old and hits me and her dad several times a day what can I do to get her to stop?

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Asked by hedtrippe at 1:16 PM on Mar. 23, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • My daughter just started to hit too! She is 17 months old and just started doing either that or throwing everything in sight. I've heard the terrible twos can start this early. Sorry I don't have a remedy for you but I hope it helps that you are not alone. I would also to see what you get for advice from other moms!!

    Answer by MJmom892 at 1:19 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Almost 100% of 'problem' behavior in children this young is an indication of a need for more attention. She's found a very, very effective way of getting your attention right away. Good for her, not so good for you or society at large, eh?

    The solution is to know that she doesn't demand or want your attention: she needs it for her survival. She knows this at a basic level. Need: Like food, water, shelter and shoes. More than shoes, actually.

    She is, not so subtly, telling you that she is not getting enough attention. The way to stop this is to make eye contact with her for a portion of every half hour she's awake, even if she's not looking at you. You can chatter away to her, interact with what she's doing and be in the same room 100% of the time, and she'll still feel like she's invisible unless you look at her eyes.

    Watch her eyes while she's busy so when she looks up she'll see yours. You'll see she looks up a LOT.

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:20 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • My DD is 17 months and just started this within the last few days as well. She does it when she is mad though. She does it when it is time to get ready for a bath and she wants to keep playing, when she can't go outside, etc. I do agree that lots of attention is imperative but I think her hitting is her way to express anger/displeasure since she is unable to verbalize these things. Obviously that does not make it ok. My plan is to do this when she hits me: immediately I put her down if I am holding her, get down to her level and look her in the eye and hold her by the shoulders and tell her "No hitting, Hitting is Naughty." Then I walk away from her and busy myself for a minute and pay her no attention. Then I go back and tell her again "Hitting is naughty. Can you say sorry?" Sometimes she does and sometimes not. Then I tell her I forgive her, hug her and we move on. (cont'd)

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:02 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • My next step is going to be to designate a naughty spot- I think the end of our hallway where she will be away from any fun toys, games, etc, and when she hits or bites I will tell her the same script as above, put her in the naughty spot for one minute and then return for apologies, forgiveness and hugs. I don't know how this will work but I am going to try it. I won't smack her as it seems ridiculous to tell her no hitting and then hit her. I think the argument that they need and want our attention so much is a good reason to withhold attention for a minute when behavior is naughty. I think that is a good negative consequence to her behavior, I am of course not talking about withholding attention for anymore than a brief period.

    I hope this helps. This just started for me so I am glad to know this seems normal for the age and I really am curious to see other Mom's ideas and advice on how to deal with this.

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:05 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • OP here: Well as I am 100% positive my dd does not need more attention from me she is the center of it all and never without me or her dad giving her everything she needs and playing with her every second she wants being said I have noticed that she usually does it when upset so I will be trying time outs unless there is any other wisdom passed on to me.

    Answer by hedtrippe at 5:50 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

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