Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ever just think about ending a friendship because of all their crap?!?!

I've been trying to plan a bridal shower for my friend and all I've gotten is complaints and drama. I know she is mad about something... we haven't spoken for a week or two, yet she says nothing and I won't bring it up. Her fiance didn't return my texts about getting addreses for the party... I called, we'll see what happens. NOW she is having a girls night at her house and guess who wasn't told about it or invited? Yea, me. But I've known her since grade school and have been though some tough crap together and she IS bi-polar, not on meds. But that doesn't excuse her behavior. If her fiance doesnt call I think I'll call her and say hey look whats up... and if she is just bisserk, I'm gonna basically say "screw it" and leave the ball in her court. I am just so sick of trying when she seems to self absorbed to even care.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Mar. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Yeah I'd totally just drop all the crap I planned out, at her house and say screw it! lol That's so dumb.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • As I get older, I have realized that life is too short to deal with drama. If my friends are prone to drama, then I don't need them that much. Also, while planning a wedding is stressful, it is not a reason to act irrational, just an excuse to show bad manners.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:39 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I wouldn't even do that. You offered, you tried with her with her bf. Call leave a message, text with bf and her that her pre marriage time is supposed to be fun for her. You can tell your upsetting her and that's not fair to anyone, to honor this special time for your friend you're declining setting up a shower for her. Also leave encouraging words for her to support herself with good friends, you wish her the best at this exciting busy time Love you.

    Playing games I've discovered just sets the stage for a bad game, playing emotional kickball in a relationship never has a winner.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Just find out if she wants you to continue helping with the bridal shower and if not just back off. Don't fuss and argue with her just leave her alone. I have a neighbor who was very nice tome when we first moved here but then after a while she just got really funky...so I have left her alone.....still speak and everything but that is it.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 1:53 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • well, she's a bride and there could be a explanation to all of this- your not being invited to the girls night out could have been a mistake- she may have thought that someone else was going to call you,maybe you didn't get the message, who knows. You say that you are trying to plan a bridal shower but all you get is drama. what is she doing?

    on the other side of the coin, maybe she doesn't want you to give her a bridal shower -

    all in all, you said she's bi-polar and not on meds. so this sort of thing is pretty typical. I'm not bipolar, but I chuckle when I think of some of the stuff I did when I was a bride!
    I personally don't believe in breaking up with friends when things get 'dramatic' this seems to be a new trend-to cut someone out of your life if they aren't as perfect as you would like. may not be the case here,but it's common.
    I'd just give her a little space and try to forgive her for the girls night out cont-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • anon 243- I think that relationships have drama from time to time- that's life!
    but if it's getting to be too much for you, then maybe if you back away a bit for now then things could get later.
    it's happened to be on both ends. I at one point decided not to see a friend much anymore because I couldn't take her 'issues' - she later died of cancer and I can't tell you how much I would love to get the time back that I lost!
    Not saying you have to be her doormat- if she's yelling at you, then listen as much as you can then tell her you can't talk anymore-

    you can put limits on the realationship without kicking her to the curb- she just may need you some day!

    it's up to you, but you have to decide what is valuable. To me, friendships are very valuable. if nothing else, you can keep contact in a xmas card sort of way-

    in the years to come, this could all seem very unimportant compared to her friendship-
    good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I do want to keep the friendship--but I've put up with it for 12 years. It wouldn't really be MY decision to end the friendship--but I know that no matter I how approach it, she will get upset. I try to be nice and adult, etc... and yet she somehow turns it around that I am acting "better" than her, or SOMETHING that makes her look like a VICTIM... she needs to get over it and if she isn't on meds at least know how to control her irrationalities. It's difficult to be friends with someone when they don't seem like they know who THEY are half the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN