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What should I do?

My lil girl is 6 months old & I want to get her ears pierced. I know you can get them done at 6 months, that's not the problem. The problem is, her father (who doesn't live with us & takes her for a maximum of 3 hours/wk, if that!), is thorowing a HUGE hissy fit about it. He kepps saying "it's not fair to her, what if she doesn't want her ears pierced when she's older?" Hello, why now, all of a sudden do you care?! Things are *civil* between us, I refuse to fight with him because we have to be in each others lives forever now, & I tried talking to him about it, but he wont listen! He also says she's "too young", which I know is not true. So, I guess my question is, should I just go ahead & get them pierced, flip a coin, or what?! My mom told me to just get them

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Mar. 23, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • In my opinion, it is too young. My parents/family all got ours done when we were 8. I've heard other people say, when they can take care of the studs and all by themselves, that's a good age to do it.
    If you want to keep things civil, don't let something this small get in between you and your baby's father. Seriously, it's trivial, and to be honest, she is young!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • How can she NOT be too young if she can't even say a single word? I agree with your daughter's dad. It's not necessary, and it does leave scarring on the ears, not to mention if it gets infected, that's really hard on a baby's little system. Why risk it? Why bother? Why not let her decide? I got my ears pierced when I was six as a birthday present and thought it was great because it was something I was excited about doing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • i think the father should have a say in her life, he is not just a sperm doner is he? 3 hours a week is a lot compared to a lot of guys. we get his daughter, my step daughter once a month. it is hard being a father when you cannot have an active part in your daughters life. The father doesn't have much say in many matter, discipline, clothing choice unless he buys some and no guarantee she will put them on her, i think you should respect his wishes on this one. why does she need them pierced so bad. or are you just going to go ahead and do things whenever you want. what is wrong with a choice? You will have arguments on many things and i am sure not many he will win. that's just my opinion,. but if he wants to be part of the decisions in her life, let him, it can only benefit the both of you and your relationship. would you want resentment over such a small thing. why do you want them pierced so much anyway?

    Answer by TaiM at 8:19 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I agree with dad. She should be able to make the decision for herself. She should be able to take care of them herself and change them herself. It makes me sick when parents do that to their kids. I don't think it looks cute and I always feel bad for the baby. My daughter has hers done, but I allowed her to make that decision for herself.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:23 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I tend to agree with her dad. I think babies are too young to have their ears pierced and why not save it for her and you to do for a special event. It was kind of one of those 'coming of age' things for me and my mom. When I was 7 she took me and got my ears pierced because I wanted to. IMO doing things like that now take away from special memories later. There will be plenty of things she will not be able to do as she gets older, why not save this one so when she wants them done later because "all her friends have it" you can say yes.

    Answer by katie23 at 8:30 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I'd say try and talk to him about it again, if you REALLY want them done that bad!! I think little girls look SOOOOO cute with their ears pierced! and, all my friends that have daughters got their ears pierced when they were really little too. It's not that big of a deal, I plan on getting my daughters ears pierced in a month or so, she'll be a little over 7 months then. Don't do it behind his back, but keep talking about it!! Communication is KEY!!!!

    Answer by mandi0986 at 8:33 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • There is no reason to poke holes in the ears of infants for cosmetic reasons! I really can't believe that people do this to children too young to give any semblance of consent, and I can't believe you would even consider choosing this to battle over when there will be numerous (actually important) decisions for you to need his cooperation with in the future.


    -if done with a piercing gun can cause trauma to the ear
    -can result in infection
    -will likely result in permanent holes
    -could result in holes in an unattractive position as the child grows

    Answer by happytexasCM at 9:03 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I dont neccisarily agree with dad but he is her father. IMO I think he should have a choice in the matter. If he doesnt want her to have them then I think you should respect his opionioin and wait until she is old enough to ask for them. Good luck mama.

    Answer by Sophie4910 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • I agree with the dad. Body modification, no matter how small, should be the decision of the person it is being done to. If its supposed to be a rite of passage then there should be the ability to consent.

    But if you are going to do it anyway, please, at LEAST get it done by a professional peircer and not at the mall.

    Answer by amileegirl at 10:53 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

  • Seriously? Do what you want to do. You are her mother. Ear piercing is not a big deal. Do what you want. I plan on getting my daughters ears pierced after she turns one. People are getting too damn touchy about this stuff. But just to let you know I have read up on it, and the places at the mall cannot completely sterilize their ear piercer. But most Peds will do it in the office with a sterilized needle and studs. Just to let you know, that what I plan on doing. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 11:27 PM on Mar. 23, 2010

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