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i'm f'ing sick of this shit!

he doesnt just BAIL on me-- he just doesnt come over when he says he will. no call, no email- NOTHING about where he's at (he doesnt have a cell so i worry if he crashes or gets hurt or something like that) and whether he's coming over. he called me at 7 tonight, but damnit- i was in class- i dont answer unless its the babysitter... but i called him at his place and his g-mas (he stays there often too) after i got outta class at 10- but no answer.

i'm sick of it. he'll walk thru the door, acting like shit is all good and want to have sex. well, no way fucker. the worst part is that we did talk about this! and he changed for a whole MONTH. a month.

and here i am thinking of marrying him, and living with him, having kids with him- a whole future, but he's going back to his old ways. at least he's not cheating, but isnt what he's doing, like disrespecting me?!

we've been dating for over a year- can we work thru this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Leopards don't change their spots.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • No.. dump him.. he's not respectful to you and he's OBVIOUSLY not ready for a relationship or god forbid children!
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 12:27 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Your not married & have no kids consider yourself lucky move on why put up with it? No reason to god don't deal with this
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • if we talked about it- and he KNOWS that i dont like it- especially if he was changing his ways... and just went back to his old ways-- is that workable? will this be a continious cycle for us? he's the best boyfriend i've ever had, but thats not saying much cuz my exes were physically/emotionally abusive...

    i'm pretty sure he's at the bar with his friends.. cuz that was what he was doing before. why cant he just use their phones and call me to let me know if he's coming over so i can tell him to just fuck off until i calm down?! (this past month- he would call using their phones, so unless he got in a car accident and is stranded- there's no reason why he cant call me!)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • get the man a pre paid cell phone to use in an emergency. make sure its one where the minutes roll over to the next month if you dont use them. then if you need to know where he is, call him and keep it short. or a pager. you can work through it. men are sometimes stupid about things like this. they don't always get how panicky a woman's brain can go if left unchecked. don't tell him all the details, just be like, i miss you and worry about you and you need a damn phone so i can call you when i need you.
    LunaB

    Answer by LunaB at 12:30 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Get out while your ahead! My husband is like that and we have 4 kids. I am stuck!!! Mainly because unless he hits me I cannot justify leaving
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Do you want to be griping about this same issues 5 years from now after you're married and had a couple a kids?? I think not. Luckily you see now that he has traits that you are not willing to put up with.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:41 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • How old are you?
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 12:42 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I sympathize - I've dated a couple of guys like this. Men in general don't feel the need to be in constant communication that women do. Sometimes they want alone time, sometimes they think everything is good so they don't think they need to contact you, sometimes they are questioning the relationship. It's a fine line between respecting the man's needs and making sure your own needs are taken care of. I would calmly ask him how come he doesn't contact you, so you understand what's going through his mind. You an also tell him that you need more, and better, communication or the relationship is going to have to come to an end.
    popcornlover

    Answer by popcornlover at 12:49 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • i'm 21 and he's 24...

    to lunaB: I'm not getting a cellphone/pager for him. i make $200/month- i live at home with my dad to help cover my own bills and take care of my child. my phone is $50/month, plus i have student loans that i am paying back (i am in school as well- but i want to pay them back sooner than later), i also have to get food and gas with the $200 (bio-dad of my child is ordered to pay CS, but he doesnt-- we've been through court about it, nothing has been done so far)... and i'm slowing paying off a CC- its only $250 now, but i put whatever is left over from the month into that... while saving up for the seasonal clothes for my child.

    if i get him a phone- i dont think that he'll pay it and it'll be my responsibility, which means even less money to go towards the CC that i really want/need to pay off.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

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