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Need Advice

My Dh Works All Week And im a sahm That takes care of our child, And House work! I hate the weekends bc my hubby thinks all there is to do is drink or go out to the bar! How can i get him to want to go out and do something different! No matter What i have to see a beer in his hand over the weekend its so tiring i hate it!

I have tried to get him to start drinking every other weekend but he wont i just want to have a weekend without our child and having to see beer!

If i say somthing about beer he gets pissed off and tells me to quit trying to start a fight with him or runs off and goes out all night and wont answer his phone or i wont even know when he will show up!

He keeps all the money i have to ask for money for bills and diapers he will b*tch about it most of the time

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 AM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • I'm sorry I have no advice, I really hate hearing about marriages like this, I dont understand them. To me it sounds like he is immature and controlling. Why is he in charge of money and why should you have to ask? Why is it party time all the time when he is a married man and father with responsibilities? Having kids means you stop acting like a frat boy and having a wife means you learn that whats yours is hers and no one should have to ask for money to buy diapers and then get yelled at for it.

    Sorry I have never been the type to allow a man to control me in that way, it is just not in my DNA lol honestly its not. The women in my family have a low BS tolerance with men.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 4:08 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I would let him know that either you two go to marriage counceling and he starts treating you like an equal and with respect or you are leaving
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:16 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I am also sorry to hear all that you are going through. I am going to tell you something that I think that you already know. I think he is emotionally abusing you. My mother was abused by her first husband and it started out with little things like that too. I am not here to judge you or put you down in any way at all. I want you to know that I am here if you need to talk. I have six children of my own and I have a very big heart. I am not mormon either haha. nothing against being mormon here, just so ya know. Are you ok yourself? how or what can I help you with? Again only if you feel comfortable to share with me k. I am up late tonight because I went to the dentist today and my jaw hurts so if you are still awake? I will also be checkin in online tomorrow. hope you are getting some rest tonight, Jeannie
    jeanniewith6kid

    Answer by jeanniewith6kid at 4:24 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Look I am sure you both totally get each other. I have little rants like this about my Hubby monthly I am happily married as I suspect you are too. I would suck it up sister. As far as the money situation, yeah that is common I am sure that is how it is for 90% of all SAHM. But I am sure that you are not barefoot and, as you would like to have more control with the money if the bills are getting paid so what. Also try sexual favors for cash. I am sure this is going to get lots of dirty looks but hey it works great. Marriage is all about exchange. You want cash and he wants a BJ figure it out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Now about the beer, get over it! Let the man have his weekend beer. I sure he has a million things he wishes you would do (back to that BJ LOL) but shape up and leave it alone. Why go on about it, it is not a big deal, and if he did not drink for 1 weekend trust me its not like all your marital dreams would come true. Hey there are a lot of women that are going to say “oh honey bunny, I am so so so sorry for you” but what I think you need is a reality check! You got a faithful (if he wasn’t I am sure we would hear about it lol), hard working husband try to enjoy it your better off than most!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • did you two anons actualy READ WWHAT SHE WROTE? WTF is wrong with you ladies. this is a pretty disfunctional situation. she didnt say she was asking for money for frivilous things either . the APPALLING DISGUST i feel at a woman suggesting to another womanb to basically WHORE herself to her husband. WTF. Marriage is about partnership, respect. hers is controlling and if not already close to emotionally abusive. it is IRRESPONSIBLE of him to be drinking EVERY weekend and not helping at all in the home. PLUS what a hypocrit he is. giving her crap about needing money for bills and diapers but DRINKS every weekend?

    i swear you two have to be TROLLING
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 5:12 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • @sati N
    Oh come off it! How do you know she is in a controlling relation please! What a drama mama satiN! Yes I am sure they have their problems but they are rather small is the scheme of things he is not beating, cheating or leaving. Why are there so many bitter bitches on MC??? I am sure I have no idea. I hope you heed my advice “try to enjoy it your better off than most”
    And no troll here!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • He sounds imiture. And controlling to me. He is treating you like a child. Having to ask for money.
    This is what I would do. Every time he brang beer in the house I would dump it out. then when he went out and stayd out all night I would tell him not to come back home tell he grows up. You can do better by your self.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:00 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Just because these things seem small to you, doesn't make them any less important to HER. so how about you come off it! either your a self righteous, hateful woman... or your the OP husband himself. Either way your acting like a jerk.


    sati N
    Oh come off it! How do you know she is in a controlling relation please! What a drama mama satiN! Yes I am sure they have their problems but they are rather small is the scheme of things he is not beating, cheating or leaving. Why are there so many bitter bitches on MC??? I am sure I have no idea. I hope you heed my advice “try to enjoy it your better off than most”
    And no troll here!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:58 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • OP, I am not really sure what to tell you. Have you tried planning activities ahead of time?

    I would really have to ask myself is that he is choosing to drink every weekend....all weekend or does he HAVE to. If he has to he is an alcoholic and he needs to get some help.

    Alcoholism isn't defined by the number of days you drink but the behavior around the drinking. I know quite a few "functional alcoholics" and they do what your husband does...they don't drink during their work week but as soon as it is done they are drinking all weekend long and they CANNOT stop. They have to drink.

    Good luck.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:06 AM on Mar. 24, 2010

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