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Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)

I need some serious help!!

Hello all - I have a 4 year old daughter who has been very argumentative here lately and has been acting out if she does not get her way. I have been giving her timeouts and she has received a couple of swats (please nobody start bashing because we do spank in situations when it is warranted) for the MAJOR Screaming Fits! I have explained to her that she needs to use her words and not whine. I have told her that we are the parents and she needs to do as we tell her to do. Some things are open to discussion others are not. I am just wondering, anyone else having this issue and what are you doing about it? Is anything working? I am beginning to think that NOTHING will help her get out of this rut. She is normally such a lovely child and does what we ask. I am not sure if this is her way of trying to establish herself as an individual or what is going on but it is driving me CRAZY!! Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks Mommas!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Mine is doing the same thing. I have noticed the more attention I give her, she is happy and behaves better. Kids all want attention, and will get it one way or the other. Play with her for a day and see if there is a mood change? Ask her to help out and involve her and see if this too helps her out. Yahweh bless.
    Daphna28

    Answer by Daphna28 at 2:35 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • The only thing that began to help my son with his behavior issues was "charts" Very much like what the SuperNanny does....but time outs and "naughty spots" never worked with him, because he saw it as a game and funny. Well we have THREE charts. One is the House Rules, he helped me write it and agreed to it and it's hanging on our fridge.

    Next is an allowance chart, I printed out play dollar bills and quarters used clear tape to "laminate" them and the chart and put double sided tape all over the chart. Now when he does chores and helps around the house or sometimes for good behavior in stores or such he earns anywhere from 25 cents to $1...at the end of the week the money on his chart he can spend over the weekend at grocery shopping or target or wal-mart. He can only buy what he has enough for (i did this because him wanting a million things grocery shopping was causing fits in store)!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:47 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • My son is three and does this once in awhile. I usually just put him on his bed and tell him he can join us when he is done screaming/crying/kicking and is ready to listen. Usually he is done and comes out within 5 minutes and is good to go. I think this works for him because he thinks he is going to miss something when he is stuck on his bed. But if we keep talking to him or even just keep him in our sight (putting him in time out in the same room with us) it doesn't stop. The only way to get his attention and really talk to him and explain why he can't get his way is to get him calmed down first. They don't hear anything when they are screaming so it is useless to even try. I feel like I am rambling, sorry. So, maybe try her bed and see that can get her calmed down to where she will listen? Good luck! and remember to be consistent with whatever you do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • The third chart is similiar to the allowance chart but it's a priviledge chart. It has pictures of the Wii, computer, TV, Bike, Toy Trains, and other things he enjoys doing. He EARNS time playing with these things on the chart again based on his behavior at home and at school.

    BUT with these charts he can also LOOSE money and priviledges when he doesn't behave. You can use a similiar system and tell your daughter that if she doesn't stop right now she loses the TV for the rest of the day or something like that.

    It's been the only thing that works for my son because he loses the things we WANTS and it makes him think about how his negative behavior causes him to lose the things he wants to do.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:50 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Thanks for all the suggestions ladies - I think we might both survive this phase - I CAN ONLY HOPE!!!
    micjones

    Answer by micjones at 2:01 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)

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