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my boyfriend of many many years show no support when i was in the hospital having major surgery he left as soon as i went under,did not call or come back till the next day says he has a thing about hospitals, his brother died and i don't think i should go to the funeral to support him because he is not there for me what do you think?

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miss.d

Asked by miss.d at 7:50 PM on Jun. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sometimes men are soo cold...let's not be like them. He needs your love and support. You needed him too...show him how to love another..don't punish him and cause more hurts. Just my opinion.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 7:53 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • tit for tat is never good way to approach any emotional subject. Be there for him now. When things are a little calmer you might try explaining to him how he makes you feel.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • Go to the funeral and BE supportive if you still want him in your life. Just because he is a dumb guy dosnt mean you should punish him at this time of his deep loss.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 8:20 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • That's really cold blooded for him not to call to make sure you were okay. I'd really think long and hard about spending the rest of your life with him because if he's not there now when you need him, he'll pretty much do the same later on. Even if he had issues with hospitals, he could have at least called because any surgery could go wrong and you could have died or had major setbacks.
    I personally wouldn't attend the funeral with him. In fact, I'd probably break up with him and find someone who knows how to love someone instead of being selfish and do all the taking.
    jon6pat

    Answer by jon6pat at 9:22 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I agree, I REALY think you should evaluate your relationship. Is he like this with everything, or was it just your surgery? He is not going to change if that is the way he is. You deserve someone who will be there for you as much as you are for them. I do think you should support him now b/c death is the worst thing to go through. My mom passed 2 years ago and it was and still is hard.
    Mrs.Chase

    Answer by Mrs.Chase at 9:32 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • Yes go to the funeral. It was his brother that died; this can be crushing if they were close. My husband was not good when I had major surgery-it was not because he didn't care. He is the type of man that has to be able to correct all problems-to be able to find a solution. He could not handle the unknown in the situation. Yes, it made me angry but that didn't mean he didn't love me; he just couldn't handle the fact that there was nothing he could do physically to correct my problem...this is still a challenge in our marriage. When I am emotional about something and I just want him to listen.....he still tries to solve the problem.
    It has taken nearly 20 years of marriage for him to listen....but he is still a good man.
    MizzT

    Answer by MizzT at 1:44 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • i think you should go be the better person and why not go the brother would probably want you to go
    Patience1

    Answer by Patience1 at 4:39 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

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