Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what do you do about a husband that does not take family responsibilites seriouse.goes to ck &go all the time when out of $

i am a stay at home mom. but not by my choice. when daughter was born in 2006 hubby thought it would be a good idea to stay home with her rather than childcare. i thought it would be great to but did not have a clue what it was like. i started full time work the day after i graduated at 18 and worked full time until i was 38. well 2006 we were doing ok until on hubby's income until the econnomy started to go down hill and hubby got hr's cut & pay cut.i wanted to go back to work but hubby would not let me. told me my spot was home with our two kids. went threw some hard times & still are. do not go out with the girls,i home with our kids 24/7 the only time i am away from them is when i am sleeping. live way out in the sticks so i only make one trip into town a wk to get what i can for food. on the other hand hubby has not changed his ways turns down overtime,goes out with the boys,puts his needs first before bills. what to do

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Join the club hon!! My alone time is during sleep as well, I get out to lunch or whatever once a yr. maybe, and then I feel bad for spending the money. Can't remember the last time I bought myself anything that I wanted, and am still wearing clothes from like a decade ago. Hubby hates that I don't work, and considering the fact that he keeps getting laid off, I've been thinking that it might be better if I did go out and get a job. Unfortunetly I can't make as much as he does, and at the moment, I'm 5 mo. preg. w/ our 4th child. He doesn't sacrifice anything, and his main excuse is, that "he works" "what do I do?". I'm 28 and feeling like an old maid w/ nothing to look forward to. I truly think that a large majority of men, have no clue how to be true husbands and fathers. It's sad, but true. (I didn't say all, just a large amount of them) Just thought I'd let ya know that you aren't alone. Misery loves comp. right? sigh.

    Answer by HappyEndings at 4:47 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I went through that and he would not let me get a job but I did because after feast or famine during the month it was time for me to take care of me and my kids so I got a job now its like I do not make as much as him but I have to work on where I am going. So I would do whatever it takes to make it easier for you and your family even if he does not understand. Going without sucks do not forget you are an adult as well capable of making choices.Use them to help your family that is what I did it only helped.


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • i think marriage needs equal respect... if he wont stop going out with the boys or work enough to afford it easily when you have told him what you want. then you need to disrepect his wishes and get a job (because you should be treated as you treat others and that is what he seems to need.) so get a job! bring home the bacon. go out with gf's. where does he get the idea that he can tell you not to work. you might have listened to him back then (when you started to sah) but now he doesnt listen to you .... so things have changed. should he start to listen to you about how he spends his money and time then you can become more reasonable about listening to what he want you to do... you have to play hard ball. be ready to fight. but if it really bothers you - ya need to do something. u r fighting for the future of your relationship.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 7:03 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Sense he is being selfish. It is time you start being selfish to. See how he feels. Go get a job. If you can not get a job. Stop catering to his needs.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:48 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.