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just came back from the dr. office and had a d&c im crying can some1 help me???

hi everyone. how can i deal with this loss???? the other day i asked everyone what to do because three weeks ago i thought i had a miscarrige and i just came from the dr. office and he told me i did and i was 6 weeks and that's not what hurts me the most, what hurts the most is i didn't expel the baby he said and he had to do a d&c to clean out the uterus and now i feel guilty that i waited this long to see him and when the dr. finished he asked me if i wanted to see the baby and i just couldn't. now my husband says that i should have to forget and he's saying things that hurt me even more. can anyone help me????


Asked by cataquiroz24 at 5:03 PM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 11 (600 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • im sorry for your loss but just know your not the only one this has happend to just try and not sit and think about it and with time it will get better just hard right now but its not your fault becuse you waited most doctor wouldnt even see you that eairly on becuse things like this happend just think positive and it just wasnt the right time for that child hope you feel beter if you need to talk feel free to mes. me

    Answer by Mommmy_To_3 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I'm praying for you right now...I hope God brings a veil of peace over you. I don't know what else to say.

    Answer by WomanOfGod7 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • aw im so sorry for your lost, im sure they have groups on here with people that have lost theirs too. I know talking about it always helps if you want you can always PM me. try finding those groups im sure they will help you a lot

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • There would be no "baby" to see at 6 weeks. I'm sorry for your miscarriage but at 6 weeks there's nothing they could have done even if you had gone in immediately. Focus on getting better and you can try again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I'm so sorry... I had an incomplete miscarriage before too, and had to do a D&C. It's awful, and you can't just "move on". It just takes time, right now it's all still very fresh, and you have EVERY right to be upset. I'm sorry your husband isn't more supportive. I do find it weird your dr asked if you wanted to see "the baby". If your pregnancy ended at 6 weeks, there wouldn't have been anything more to see than a little mass of cells...

    Answer by Anouck at 5:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I think seeing the child would have hurt you more.There's no need for you to forget.You lost your child. You go right ahead and grieve that loss.I'm so sorry hon.(((hugs)))

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 5:09 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Sweetie, I am so sorry, it happened to me and I know how you feel. Things like this just happen, it wasn't meant to be. You shouldn't feel guilty, the baby was no longer alive even if it was still inside you there is nothing more that you could have done other than what you did. Men can be so insensitive and self centered sometimes!!! Lots of hugs from me to you. This feeling shall pass with time, but life goes on. I think you would benefit from talking this out.

    Answer by older at 5:12 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I know that living with the loss of the child is really hard, I miscarried once myself then tried again. What your husband doesn't understand is that it's time to move on. Maybe that's how he deals with the grief of losing a baby, but considering that you miscarried really early on understand that IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. When miscarrage happens in the early stages of pregnancy either the embryo or the parents body senses something is wrong and will, unfortunately, abort the baby. Stay strong girly it isn't your fault and ask your husband if he's okay. My fiancee wasn't really okay when I miscarried our first and he was still really shakey when I got pregnant again. Just honestly sit down and talk. It strengthen's the marraige when you discuss important stuff like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Actually there IS a baby to see at 6 weeks. When my best friend miscarriaged at 6 weeks 3 days a large clot came out in her hand. The doctor told her via phone that it was probably the sack. My friend asked if I would help her open it because she decided that she "had to see." She said it would be real to her unless she did.

    We were at her house and it was just the 2 of us because her DH deployed 2 weeks prior. We broke the sac open (it was actually really hard to break) and the baby was in there. He or she had big black eyes and a tiny little body.

    It was the MOST AMAZING THING I've ever seen! She barried her baby in her back yard.

    I don't know if I could have handled it if it were me but she says it really helped her heal.

    Everyone is different. You'll never forget but don't beat yourself up for not looking. That's your choice!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I am sorry for your loss. I also had a D & C done, I went to what I thought was my 12 week checkup, the doctor could not find a heart beat, doctor told me baby had probably died at 9 weeks. I wondered why? I had done everything the way I was supposed to, the hardest part came when the doctor told me that I should be in the process of passing the baby, I was asked if I wanted to wait to pass the baby or have the D & C, I choose to have the procedure done, I thought it would be easier for me to handle but I don't think this experience is easy for anyone. I always think about that miscarriage, what it would have been or looked like but then I look at my 9 year old (6 weeks after the d & C I found out I was pregnant with him) and I thank god that he was born, let yourself heal and I hope your hubby can be more supportive and conforting.

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 5:21 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

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