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How can I fix this? I messed up in a really bad way. My SO and I have been struggling, and I reverted to the way I handled things with my ex when they got bad: I said I was giving up. I didn't mean it...

and I am kicking my own ass in a major way for saying it. But now he won't answer my calls, and I don't know how I can make this right. I don't want to lose him. I love him more than I've ever loved any other man in my life. I literally cannot see myself living without him. I don't want anyone else. I want him. And I don't know how to fix this. I know I need to apologize, which I have, in a voice mail and by text, and I will to him if he will answer or call me back. But what else can I do? I know I need to fix the things that I am screwing up in our relationship (and yes, it is me, not him. I have major issues to work on), and I will. I don't know how, but I will. But, how do I fix this, right now, to make sure we don't lose each other?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Giving up isn't a bad thing. Giving up can mean many things. Giving up can mean you are giving up up trying to control things you can't up trying to work things out without consulting him. I "gave up" and SO picked up the wagon and started pulling and fixing things so giving up worked for us. Calm down and let him process things and get back to you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:37 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • This reminds me so much of that song "I will go down with this ship." If he won't hear "I'm Sorry" then he's either a jerk, or has given up, or needs time. If he's a jerk, no matter how much you love him, you need to walk away. If he's given up, all you can do is say what you have to say and then leave him a lone. Same for if he needs time. Send him a letter. Yes, take the TIME to write a personal, handwritten letter. Not a phone call or text, that just might be harrassment to him right now. Write a letter telling him how much you love him and want to grow. Send it to him and DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE. If he loves you and is willing to work on it, he'll get back to you. Otherwise you're just going to drive him further away!

    Answer by Adelicious at 7:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Don't give up!

    It may take longer than you're hoping for, but stick with it. You're on the right path. You mean well. Keep on fighting for what you want.

    That's admirable and will show through in the end.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:52 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

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