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how are you suppossed to correct your child in public when you get in trouble. they run all over you?

i tap my son on the butt a tiny bit and i get stared at out in public and julian acts up alot worse since im scared to correct him in public

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Asked by julian395 at 8:50 PM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (41)
  • my friend has a great idea that I've been using. Instead of the obvious tap, you lean in talking to the child, telling them what they did wrong or what ever it is, and you pinch their thigh/butt. Has been working well for all of us using the method. People just think you're talking to your child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • It sounds like you know hitting your child is wrong. You need to learn parenting skills other than punishment. Psychologists know punishment doesn't work and it doesn't teach good behavior. Hitting children teaches them to hit, lie, sneak, and to resent you.

    Love & Limits is a good first book. It's by Elizabeth Crary and it is a problem solving oriented style of parenting toddlers. She has a website that has a parenting chart to help you get started.


    Answer by Gailll at 8:54 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • oh yeah Gailll... great way to parent... don't bother teaching your child that there are punishments for doing wrong. That way when they get out of the sheltered bubble you call your home, they get a shock when they can't do what they want, when they want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • I was too... at first. My child just turned 4. last year when he tried acting up in public, it only lasted a little bit. Put then in time out. :) I dont tap/spank in public but I do put them in time out. if I am in a isle at a store, I simply say to him "you are going in time for for so and so.." I go and find an empty wall (even if I have to go into the bathroom).. he HATES it.. but what can anyone do?? I am not hitting or screaming at him.. all he is doing is facing a wall. he will get embarrassed.. and no matter how much he/she screams.. what person in their right mind will stomp on another parent's authority.. all they will do is give you horrible glares.. but that's it.. :) Hope this helped..

    Answer by midnight11287 at 8:57 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • As long as you are not abusing your child, parent the way you want. Spanking is not illegal. So what if people stare.

    Answer by jmpeskie at 9:04 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Don't you love it when a mom asks a question and some one climbs up on a soapbox with her own agenda? Did the OP ask for a book recommendation?

    Yep, it is hard to correct a child less than 3 with words. They all develop differently; the book that works for one won't work for all. But yeah, avoid the smack on the butt in public, some one may call CPS on you.

    Instead try pulling the child away from whatever he/she is doing, abruptly. If you say anything, lean in and do it softly but sharply, so your child knows you mean business but no on else has to mind yours.
    Some parents take their kid to the bathroom for a quick spank, but I never did. Really young children need an immediate message that they need to stop whatever the behavior was. When your child is a little older, he she will understand things like "we'll take care of this at home." And then, I do think losing a priveledge is more effective than spanking.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Pinching your child is awful. No parent should ever pinch a child. Tapping is hitting. If it is something you have to hide to do to your child you know it isn't right.

    You teach your child how to behave, you don't punish. The most effective way to parent is called authoritative. You can google it and find out more about it. You use things like positive reinforcement, choices, avoiding problems, ect. I have an 18 month old grandson that is very well behaved and we can take him anywhere. We always get compliments on his behavior and he has never been hit or pinched.

    You can learn to parent from books, classes, conferences, support groups, college classes, ect. Check out Elizabeth Crary's website and read about the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting.

    I'm not the one on here complaining my toddler can't behave! My grandson behaves great without punishment, hitting, taps, pinching, ect.

    Answer by Gailll at 9:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • Put his butt in the cart first off. I see too many kids walking when they should ride.Make sure he has something to hold,or has a job in the store like holding the shopping list.Make sure you don't go when they're hungry or tired.I know others on here disagree with me,but a dollar toy bribe always worked for me!

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • To Gailll...
    What I want to know is how did parents "parent" before books, conferences, classes, etc?

    You can't tell me that all parents were bad before books and the like came out.

    Society relies too much on what other people think instead of doing what they think is best.
    Plenty of children were, NOT ABUSED...and came out fine and get along great with their parents. I was only spanked a few times, but it let me know who was boss.

    Answer by jmpeskie at 9:14 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • im not trying to start a fight. sorry just needed advice im so stressed out its crazy

    Answer by julian395 at 9:16 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

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