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Help! I'm stuck in a bad situation, and need some advice.

Ok, first you must understand the situation I'm in. I'm not technically a mom, but am helping my @$$hole of step-dad (I guess you'd say "my mother's widower") raise my teenage sisters. I promised my mother I'd do this when she was on her deathbed, despite the fact that the man is evil. I don't mean that he's a mass-murderer or anything, just that he's evil. He doesn't view me as his kid, even though he was wed to my mother for 17 years before she passed. He's treating me as if I was a significant other: expects me to cook and clean and act like a mom to my sisters, yet doesn't want them to tell me certain things that he does so that he can lie to me. He undermines my authority, and he takes the phone away from me. I'm a full time student and only working part time and can't afford to leave, not to mention my sisters still need me. He hates my boyfriend of nearly 6 years and does anything he can to get us to fight. Help me...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Mar. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Maybe you should make plans to leave and stay in touch with the sisters to help them out if they need the help. He's capable of taking care of two kids. If not, or if he is doing something to harm them turn him in to CPS. Then you could get custody and he'd have to pay you child support or you could get PA.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

  • are your sisters his daughters? I think I kind of agree with anon 59 you may just need to leave, still be there for your sisters let them come to your place as much as possible and if he will allow it and they want to let them live with you they should be getting ss since their mom (your mom) died and they are minors, make sure he isnt steeling there money either! in the mean time maybe you need to sit down with him and explain you are not his wife and you will only do for your sisters not him
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:58 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I will echo the question. Are your sisters his daughters? If NOT...then file for custody and get them out of that home. Find a place of your own.

    If they ARE...you need to get yourself out. I know you promised...but there are promises that simply cannot and should not be kept. If you don't feel the girls will be ion actual danger, then just move on and be available for them.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:02 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Ok, to answer the questions posed by mommie2twogirls and gdiamante, Yes, they are his daughters. As far as the actual danger goes, that's what I'm uncertain of. He's prone to bouts of rage, and while he hasn't actually hurt any of us, he does tend to throw things and act very irrationally when he feels he's out of control. He's said he's battling with an inner demon that threatens to get out and take control. He drinks to excess now and then, and either becomes very goofy and goes to sleep, or becomes very angry and yells, belittles, and throws/breaks things that he knows are meaningful to the person he's mad at, usually me but sometimes the youngest child. The middle child is his oldest, and his favorite. He's also a sexual predator, at least to me. I'm not aware of anything he's said or done to the younger ones, but when I was their age he made several attempts at getting me to do favors for him, none of which succeeded.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • To mommie2twogirls:
    He IS taking their money. He's been out of work on disability, which only pays about 40% of his regular income, and he's been using their money for two years nearly to pay the bills. He's got way too many bills, too, and people are starting to threaten him with legal action for the money he owes. I'm talking credit cards that are maxed out, most of the money spent was on the girls, but still...not to mention his truck payment and car payment, and insurance, which he justifies using their money by claiming they need transportation. Also, the cable and internet, because he claims its Their entertainment. I don't know what to do because if I were to report him, he'd inevitably find out, and kick me out, and I have nowhere to go at the moment, and wouldn't have a car to drive to school, which is 30 minutes away. He's starting to claim that its MY fault he can't manage his money, when Mom used to do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • From what you've described up there, it may be time to get a lawyer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

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