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I need some support...

I found out last night that my SO is talking to other girls. As of right now I don't believe he has actually met any of these girls but emotional cheating is still cheating. I am going to confront him after I get more information and then he is gone. Thing is I am 5 months pregnant with our second child and I am having a meltdown about raising 2 kids all alone. Idk what to do. I don't think I can do this.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Listen I know exactly how you feel. take a deep breath and calm down now since he refuses to marry you and he i stalking to other women let him know how you feel with out being confrontational. explain to him that you will not stand for being mistreated! Your good enough to live with carry his children and raise them but not good enough to marry then maybe you do need to be on your own. I know the thought of raising two kids on your own is scary but you would not be the first nor the last to do so. and im sure you dont wnt your children to see you being walked over like a door mat but in the end the decision is yours.and i garee i think emotional cheating is just as bad as any other form of cheating you have to be strong and you will get through this....

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 12:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • You can't assume that just because he is talking to other girls that he is cheating. And even if he is emotionally involved with them, is it really worth giving up on a standing realationship. Many marriages have come back from audultery. You do need to sit down and have a talk about where this is going and what you can expect. Has he made a commitment to you, or are you just a place holder until he finds something better? Why aren't you married?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • OP here- We've been together for 8 years and he refuses to get married. He has cheated on me before, and we did come thru it and now I don't think I can do it anymore. I got ahold of one of the girls and she sent me emails where he tells her he is in love with her and that I am just some crazy ex who can't move on. How can I look past all of this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • If he's done it before, and he's doing it again now, I think it's time to admit that he's not going to change. I know how hard it is to let go. My ex-husband cheated on me and I forgave him for it more than once, but he just wouldn't stop. I finally had to decide what was more important: being married to him or having respect, not only for myself, but from others. Think about this: if you had a friend whose husband/boyfriend was cheating on her over and over and over, and she stayed, would you respect her? Eventually, no you wouldn't. You'd think she was crazy for staying. Not to mention what this will eventually do to your self esteem. I was 6 mos pregnant when I filed for divorce. It is hard to raise 2 kids alone, I won't lie to you. But better to raise them alone and be happy than with him and be miserable, and setting a bad example of what a relationship should be for your kids. Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:17 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • You are better off sad and single than tied down and broken hearted...

    Answer by WomanOfGod7 at 10:26 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I don't understand why women allow their self-confidents and self-esteem slack. There are ALOT of GOOD MEN out there that love kids. The way guys like you SO behave in just a relationship, will be the same, worse sometimes, in a marriage. Doesn't sound like he's a big kid himselve not taking anything seriously. LET THE DOOR SLAM HIM IN HIS ASS ON HIS WAY OUT!!! KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!!! DO NOT GIVE IN!! DO NOT LET HIM USE THE KIDS AS AN EXCUSE!! DO NOT LET HIM GIVE YOU A GUILT TRIP!!DON"T LET HIM KEEP YOU HANGING ON!!!! DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!!! WITHIN TIME YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU DON"T NEED HIM IN YOUR LIFE !!! YOU CAN FIND MUCH BETTER!!! HE"LL FIND OUT

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 10:33 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • OOPS I goofed. take out the word doesn't.

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 10:35 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Take a breather. You are pregnant. You are taking on a lot on your plate. But if you are a young couple, it happens. But not to dump the guy. I say fight for your man. I caould never be alone without a man just because he is talking. Big deal. I would never be alone. No thanks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • This does sound like a pattern, and the fact that he won't marry you is a huge red flag (SO and I aren't married either after almost 12 years together but it isn't because either one of us refuses and if either of us proposed marriage tomorrow the answer would be yes). You may be better off without him- I can't sugarcoat it and tell you it will be easy. Two little ones will be hard. Do you have good family and friends who will help you? It will be hardest at first when your baby arrives and you have an infant and toddler and have to get used to all of that, but then it will get easier. And I am guessing things probably aren't all that easy now, if you move on you will at least get rid of this drama and hurt in your life, and in time you will likely find someone better for you that wants you for you and gives you the love and respect you deserve and shows your kids how their mother should be treated. Be strong and good luck.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2010