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Where can I send my out of control 12yo daughter? I am not giving up on her I think she needs something severe to get her back on track.

My 12 yo has been difficult since birth, the past 2 yrs it has been a living hell. She has been seeing a psychologist for 2 yrs. I have tried every partenting strategy I could find or have recimmended to me. Nothing has ever even made a slight improvement. So far this past 6 mo have been the worst. She constantly is in trouble at home, the school calls at least twice a week. I have tried stripping them of all material posessions for them to earn back to the other extreme of loving her well, didnt work. I love this child with all my heart but I am tired of this. I have checked on boot camps etc. they want $1200/mo, we cant afford that. I also have a 14yo daughter & 7yo son who has to suffer because of her actions & my bad moods I try to not take it out on them but its hard to instantly change my moods to pleasant. If you know of places they can go for maybe 30 days at low or no cost please help. We are in WV.

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mrsford561

Asked by mrsford561 at 10:12 AM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • Check with a juvenile probation center in your area. I live in a different state, so I don't know if what we have is the same. My husband was a drill instructor at a juvenile probation center where kids lived. Most of the kids were there because they had been caught breaking a law or because of school suspensions, but a few were placed there by their parents to help scare them straight. They would only take parent-placed kids when they weren't full, so sometimes they were on a waiting list.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • take a look at toughlove.com


    I know that a friend of my mom's used this years ago as one of her daughers was the same way. I believe that it helped.

    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:24 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Take her to Judge Hatchett. She's always working with kids. That's what I'm about to do! :) My daughter is acting up too! I know how you feel.
    Sacheen.T.

    Answer by Sacheen.T. at 10:36 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • What my husband and I have been talking about is sending her to her grandma's back in South Dakota in the beginning of the summer for about a month or so. We figure she might come home with some respect and appreciation for what she has.
    Sacheen.T.

    Answer by Sacheen.T. at 11:18 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry she's going through this, too... I was a tough teen. Has anything come from the psych appts? Is it possible that she has been abused at some point in her life? My "acting out" was a large result of sexual abuse as a child and feeling abandoned by my dad. I acted out sexually and physically by being really aggressive. I was rude, nasty, had no friends, and was in a really bad place. All of this lead to deep-seeded issues w/ depression. If I wouldn't have gotten help when I did, I probably would've killed myself. Have you guys tried family counseling? Neuropsychological testing? Involving a therapist/social worker from DSS?
    Luvmylilmonkies

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 11:30 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • You can't send her away and expect others to fix the mess you made then send her back to the environment that created her personality in the first place. It just doesn't work like that. You need to be working with the counselor on ways to help her. You made her that way, you help her out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • First to the anonymous user, I didnt "make her that way" she chooses daily to be that way! To everyone else, we have been doing the in depth counseling for 2 years, 2 times in the past 2 months she has been in the adolescent crisis unit. I do appreciate all answers and will try any I have yet to try. I also have a daughter 14 and a son 7, who seems to be normal for their age, not angels at all but more of what i expect a14 & 7 yo to be.

    mrsford561

    Answer by mrsford561 at 4:24 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Do you also go to family counseling?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:58 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Hello my name is model101.....I want to tell you that thanks for your courage to speak out that you are tired and have seen that nothing works.. First i want to tell you taht your heavenly father is concerned about you and your daughter. He says that he knew you befor you were formed in you mothers womb and he has good plans for you and not of evil. I speak peace over you in jesus name , and that you daughter is the blessing of the lord. What i would like to do is speak life over you and you child that the kindgom of god has come to your home . I want to hear the progress report soon .... read psalm 51 god bless ..
    model101

    Answer by model101 at 6:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Well... you might not like this answer, but it's all I've got.
    When I was 16(ish), I was completely out of hand. COMPLETELY. And my poor mom tried everything. None of it worked. So she basically waited for me to screw up in a legal way. And then she refused to take me out of juvenile hall.
    It was NOT what i expected from her.
    But it sure as hell got my attention :)
    emhain

    Answer by emhain at 5:27 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

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