Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do if your child was not going to graduate HS on time?

My DD is seriously failing two classes that she needs to graduate on time. Me and Step-Dad have talked to her about so much that we dont even want to hear ourselves talk about it anymore. I have told her that she will not go to prom or any other senior things b/c I feel if you are not going to graduate w/ your class then you dont need to party w/ your class.

Thank you for your help.

Answer Question

Asked by MyRuger22 at 10:44 AM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Why is she failing? That would determine what I would do as far as punishment, and to be honest I don't think that grades should be punished. Kids don't fail for the fun of it, they fail because they don't understand or don't have motivation because they don't understand. I would get her in to tutoring asap and make sure that she has all the tools to help her graduate.

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 10:48 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • will she be graduating at all? have you spoken with the counselors to see if she can take classes out side of school simultaneously to graduate on time?

    im really not sure what I would do.

    I guess if it is lack of effort and just screwing around you are on track.... if she simply doesnt understand the subject matter then maybe I would let her attend.  does she currently have a tutor?

    HOWEVER.... I would make it VERY clear that if she screwed up her chances of college that she has 3-6 mo. TOPS to find a full time job and leave my home.  Do not inable her to waste her life by providing a crashing spot if she chooses not to go to college. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Is she failing out of lack of effort, or is school difficult for her? I would get her a tutor either way. If she needs the extra help the tutor can assist, if she is just being negligent, the scheduled time with a tutor will help that too.

    Surely it isn't too late to raise the grade. Where we live there are almost 8 weeks of school left, plenty of time to raise a failing grade. As much as kids need to take responsibility for their actions at that age, not graduating from high school can have some serious consequences. If she doesn't finish this year she may never finish. I would do ANYTHING in my power to make sure she graduates.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 10:50 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I agree with everything mrsjonzy said! even if she's 'not doing her homework' there could be come very good reasons for it! ones that adults may not understand. Has she had a physical lately? I had the same problem with some classes in school then eventyually all of them. For years my parents thought I was just being lazy- I wasn't! I had a cyst growing in my head that had been shoving my brain out of the way for years!
    once I was diagnosed all these med students HAD to see me in the flesh because it had gotten so big I was considered impossible to function at all- yet I was attending school, still walking and talking (though I had many problems) and had just finished a Cello solo with a high scores-
    even if there is nothing physically wrong, she could have a learning difference that wasn't noticed until now-very common!
    I near failed a english class because I thought the writing assignments were dumb- I"m 39 and I cont-

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • anon cont 11:16- still think those writing assignments were a waste of time and a insult! he made us write about things that HE thought was cool and claimed that was creative. I am now writing my third book-

    I don't mean to be mean, but I feel that you are making a VERY big mistake! please don't rob your daughter of such precious memories. In the time to come, the issue of her maybe not graduating will be water under the bridge. I need not ruin her life- but if you do this she will always remember that you took her prom and precious senior activities away.
    I don't believe this will help at all. She needs help not punishment.

    If I was in her shoes and this was being done to me, back then I would have just said well then, it's all being taken away anyway, so why bother? seriously, if you take these things away it's not going to teach her for next time! she's a senior, there may BE no next time!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • anon cont 11:16 cont (2) -
    she may be doing badly for lots of reasons. there could be other students in class bothering her- that was one of my big problems! she could be very uncomfortable for some reason, she may be bored!

    the english teacher who near flunked me,, told my mother that I didn't have a talent for writing- I'll give my mom this- she laughed at him, and told him that it was because his class wasn't a good fit for me. That I had won several writing contests before that, and that I would complain that I had to waste my time on the stuff I had to write for his class, then I would go home and write what I considered to the the 'real' stuff-
    Not everyone does well in HS for many reasons. often it's just not a good fit.
    Maybe she would do better going on with her class as she normally would, then perhaps see about adult education or getting her GED- the embarrassment you are feeling now will not last-

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • anon cont 11:16 cont (3) -
    I believe your daughter will find her way in time.
    my baby brother was always failing something- then he got into a community college but had to be on academic probation. College was such a better fit for him that when he had to go in front of the board to report on his academic probation they all had to laugh!
    Here they had a student who was on probation and on the deans list at the same time! so you never know. I just had my 20th reunion and all the things I was told would ruin my life, no one remembers now.
    almost no one there remembered who had what grades but EVERYONE remembered the proms and those that missed out say that was their biggest regret.

    I don't think the punishments will inspire her to do better- please find another way to help her and please don't force her to miss out on maybe the best memories of her teenage life.
    Good luck to you! I hope it goes well!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Have you asked her why she isn't doing better in school? Have you asked her what her plans are for after high school? Let her answers guide you. She is nearly an adult, and needs to learn to make good choices.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:56 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I apologize ladies I should of put in my question that my DD is failing due to unwilling to do the work that is required of her. To Anonymous taking prom and other senior events away from is b/c I feel like if your not going to do what is require of you to pass the class then why should I afford for you to do the things that you want to do. Just like in life past moms bank account and house if you dont go to work and make money then you cant do the things you want to do. W/ that being said I am trying to find what will wake her up and get her to get it together. Her English teacher has offered to stay after w/ her until all the work that she is missing is made up, but my DD refuses. Her plan after HS is military, no problems here w/ that. My brothers and FIL retired, and SIL active duty. Thanks again for your responses; I will use your knowledge and hopefully I can post a grad pic.

    Answer by MyRuger22 at 6:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I've got a question- whether she goes to prom and all that may not be your decision. What is the school policy on that? If she doesn't have a certain grade point average (last I knew most schools required a 2.0) then the school may not allow her to attend at all.
    Have you checked with the school about what the rules are? they may refuse her entry either way- not THAT would be embarrassing!

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.