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Should I allow my children to meet my brother-in-law girlfriend & her kids?

My BIL (brother-in-law) wants my husband, children, and I to meet his newest girlfriend. My problem with the situation is he is still married to another woman and up until a week ago refused to even acknowledge he was in a relationship with this new women. To further "ugly up" the issue, my BIL has told all of us that he could never have a serious relationship with this woman b/c: she has 2 children from a previous marriage, and he doesn't approve of how she takes care of her kids. Therefore, he refuses to acknowledge or spend time with her and her kids. Instead of telling my BIL to get lost, this young woman leaves her kids with various babysitters 4-5 times a week so that she can spend time with my BIL alone as per his dictates. My husband thinks I am being hateful but am I really so wrong for not wanting my 4 & 6 yr. olds getting involved in such a relationship?

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Asked by jessm0602 at 1:09 PM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • sounds like drama... I'd skip the meeting

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:11 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • No way...that just sounds retarded. Why have your family meet her, if she has no potential of sticking around?! What a jerk!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • well maybe you can just act like she is your friend...and the kids are there just to play...........they are going to meet alot of kids in bad situations in their lives.....

    playing with kids a for what an hour...isnt going to screw them up

    Answer by glamomomo at 1:14 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Up to you who your kids are introduced to at this age...but shes just another person! Shes not their mom or anything..shes not going to end up being anything serious in their i dont see it hurting them. I wouldnt make your family avoid them because you dont like her choice to chose a man over her children! But i wouldnt break my neck to see them either.....i would definitely just go with the flow on meeting her...if it happens fine if not hey even better!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 1:15 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Tell dh to encourage his brother to get rid of one woman before bringing another one into the fold. It' confuses people especially children. I would not allow my children to get in the middle of that hornet's nest. They don't need to be introduced to drama and dysfunction so early in life. Been there, saw the damage that can cause.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • either way- thats your kids' uncle, so i'd probably allow it.. but my personal opinion of the guy is really low.

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:52 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • honestly the kids won't know the difference and maybe you can be a good influence on this woman and who knows your BIL. the more time you spend with them, the more she gets to see a healthy relationship and wonder why she doesn't get that.

    Answer by madfoot at 1:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • no dont let your family around bil or that woman. it seems completely clear cut and simple to me! seems like nothing but a can of worms....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:48 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • won't the kids wonder why he is not with auntie so and so, his wife..? it wouldn't be healthy if they are big on public displays of affection.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

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