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she told me there was drinking at the party.

Smallish birthday party, parents home, my daughter told me there was drinking.
The kids are freshman and sophmores so their parents drove them and picked them up.... no teen driving. My daughter said that the parents allowed kids in with water bottles and fast food cups.... she was told by some of the kids that they had brought booze in the bottles/fast food cups.

What to do with the info?

1) call the parents who hosted and tell them what i was told?
2) casually bring it up with the parents i know to be aware of how the booze gets snuck in (with out telling how I know)
3) not say anything
4) other

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • I would call and tell them how it was being brought in, without telling whose mother I was, if possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • say nothing. Commend your daughter for telling you and not getting involved with it. Don't lose her trust, simply make sure she know what could have happend and that you are so proud of her for that.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:04 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • First of all it is great that your daughter could tell you. I wouldn't say anything. It is more important that my daughter could tell me than that I tattle.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:04 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Say nothing? That is illegal and dangerous, do you know how many times parents host such 'parties' and the kids end up driving and killing someone? Your daughter is a great kid and I would be proud to have her for a daughter, but I think it is highly irresponsible as an adult to keep this information to yourself, esp. if they continue to have these parties in the future.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I would call them and tell them. Point blank your daughter is going to be furious, but those parents would be held liable in my state for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. What are we teaching our children? The laws are for only a few? We've had so many children die in alcohol related car crashes in my small city in the last 5 years. Running from the police too. It is so hard for the families that are left. It all starts out small like this, but it just gets worse as they get braver. Keep your daughter safe. Talk to the parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • This is a tough one. I might be alone on this but I'd sure want to know if my kids were drinking or if some kids brought booze into my home. The parents could get into a lot of trouble for this, whether they knew or not and it sounds like they did not. There really should not be a passive attitude about teen drinking but I've noticed that is one more thing on this site that is not big deal. Scary.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I'd casually bring it up.

    and thank my daughter for letting me know.
    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 3:08 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I had the same problem when my dd was 15, she came to me and told me, I didn't call the parents. Why? I'm really not sure. But the kid who's party it was went on drinking most of the summer and her parents did find out and life as she knew it was over. I think at some point we have to just do the best we can as mom's with our own kids and hope that the other parents of the world catch up. For me that has worked. She is now 17 and still tells me when there will be drinking. So Maybe I did something right after all.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 3:13 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Call them and bring it up, and be sure to tell your daughter how amazing she is.
    MiddletonFamily

    Answer by MiddletonFamily at 3:13 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • Kids that want to drink will do it no matter what. I wouldnt say anything. But i would thank your daughter for telling me and ask her how she feels about it. Keep the lines of communication open between you two and she will be more likely not to be one of those "other" kids. I wouldnt worry about their kids.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 3:14 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

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